Weighty Matters
171.5 this morning
I have all of my entries from the message board (Lead With the Diet) moved here to my blog.
I think Adele is entertaining the idea of creating a group on Facebook for LWTD, where she could reach and help a lot more people. I hope she does.
So yeah, 171.5 this morning...I'm pretty sure I haven't been eating enough vegetables lately, so need to step up my efforts. Also during the past couple of weeks I've eaten cheese a few times, and I'm pretty sure it stalled my weight loss. So no more cheese for me. I think I keep trying to add cheese back into my life because it's an "easy" food; easy to add, easy to grab, etc. But "easy" doesn't equal good for my body. Another thing, I seem to experience a waning amount of energy around 4:00 along with feeling a little peckish, so I'm going to add an afternoon snack to my routine (probably more carrots), in the form of vegetables.
Friday, August 26, 2016
Weighty Matters 07/20-08/02/2016
07/20/2016
Adele, I've been meaning to ask you a question for some time now, but kept forgetting.
Do you eat at set times (breakfast, lunch, & supper) regardless of hunger, or do you ONLY eat if you're hungry?
Adele's Response:
Well... I don’t really eat at SET times (i.e. especially now that we’re both retired we might get up at 7 and not eat breakfast until 9), but I almost always eat three meals plus one snack every day. I have always had a pretty big appetite so it’s pretty rare that I’m not hungry. But if I’m not hungry at snack time, I’ll skip that. I probably skip my snack once a week, no more than twice, usually when I’ve had a big—or late—lunch. But I never skip lunch or dinner, and I almost never skip breakfast. I almost always eat the same thing for breakfast (3 eggs, cooked in oil), which leaves only 14 meals/week to think about.
While I won’t say I *never eat after dinner, I try not to and rarely do. But if we had a smaller, lower-fat dinner, I’m sometimes hungry before bed and will eat an egg or two before bed if that’s the case. Turkey breast as the protein choice for dinner is usually what has me hungry before bed, lol. The same thing would probably happen with fish but because DH hates fish, we never have it for dinner. I sometimes make fish for my lunch.
Just because I was curious, I dabbled a few times with intermittent fasting within the last year—that’s supposed to be the latest and the greatest for health/weight loss. But it turned out that for me, adding clock-watching to my fairly rigid, paleo-style diet ended up causing me obsess to and worry about food much like I used to, which I really don’t want back in my life. I came to the conclusion that I was trying to fix something that ain’t broken, as the saying goes, so I’m back to doing what I found works so well for me: Three filling meals, boring foods to most people, but peaceful ones to me.
(This is not to say that YOU shouldn’t try intermittent fasting if you read up on it and decide it might be for you. I really get that we’re all individual and have to find—within certain parameters of course—what works best for ourselves.)
Does that answer your question? Hope so!
Adele
132 this morning
Me:
It does answer my question, yes. There are nights when I'm not terribly hungry at suppertime, and I find myself wondering if I should simply skip eating. I used to do that on zero carb (meat only); eating ONLY when one is truly hungry is emphasized strongly. (But then, one must also learn what is "true hunger"--often difficult for people with eating disorders.) Thanks Adele!
07/22/2016
174.5 this morning
Some days I wonder how long can I sustain this way of life* (eating). As if some external force is in charge of my eating habits, or there's a genie somewhere who has granted me a wish of clean eating-weight loss, but only for a limited time, and that time will run out any day now. And then I have to remind myself that it's me...that I am in charge of this thing, this wonderful "thing" of clean eating that is enabling me to get healthy AND lose weight (at the same time!). That if I fail it is on me, because the tools I have now (from Leading With the Diet) are more than enough for me to succeed. I simply have to be strong enough to admit the reality of how really weak I am, and face the knowledge that I will end up back in carbohydrate hell if I go down that road again. It's a dark, scary road with potholes big enough to swallow the whole universe and there's no one around with a winch to pull my arse out. There is a certain amount of strength in weakness.
*My pattern seems to be around 3 months of dieting before crashing.
Adele's Response:
Some ramblings from me:
I think it's really good--maybe even critical--that you recognize your pattern. That's a big step to changing it! Just keep telling yourself no, we're not doing that this time. We're doing something different. That didn't work.
BTW, I still think about, and relate to in many ways, your post where you talked about being alone with a candy dish at your husband's office. What pleasure would you truly have derived from eating that candy? Nobody around, nothing to celebrate, just a little party in your mouth that you used to be able to do. Would that really have been any kind of wonderful? Isn't it interesting and telling that we want and have to resist such meager "pleasure"?
I just stumbled onto this guy, Butter Bob, who I think I love. He's a big proponent of intermittent fasting, I mentioned that in my last post and that it doesn't work for me, at least not right now. I'll never say never though, lol. Anyway, this video in particular really resonated with me about simplicity. Mingled, in his case with the intermittent fasting, but I still loved and really related to what he says about simplicity and how it changed him. Leading with a simple diet WILL change you and I'm not just talking about your weight. Living with the changes over time is what does that. If you can't/won't live with the changes, then you haven't changed. See?
Keep going and keep posting, Trisha.
Adele
133 this morning
(Adele included a link to a Butter Bob video)
08/02/2016
173 this morning
...and the pounds continue to drop, slowly but surely. No calorie counting, no exercise, just healthy high fat/low carb foods.
On Sunday I cooked fried chicken (drumsticks) using Ol' Butter Bob's method with lard. Lard is wonderful stuff.
I've gone back to scrambling my daily eggs in butter, although I'm still using the olive oil for my salads.
Now, my husband has finally admitted he needs to lose weight. I don't know if my weight loss has had an effect on him
or not; I never nag or cajole. I figure an adult person needs to be responsible for their own health and well-being. If you're
going to change a bad habit, such as smoking or weight loss, then you MUST do it for yourself and not for the sake of anyone
else; otherwise the change won't "stick". (Just my opinion, your mileage may vary.) But anyway...he made the decision to
return to a low carbohydrate eating plan, starting yesterday. I...how do I say this? --I will help him, but I cannot/WILL NOT
be his conscience. For instance, this morning I packed a lunch for him (3 of the chicken drumsticks and a salad). Whether
he sticks to the eating plan, though, is entirely up to him. As I said, I do not nag; you're an adult--do the right thing. To me
it's that simple. Assuming he's truly committed to losing weight, I figure I'll help him get his food choices under control first,
and then we can tackle his soda addiction. That's going to be a toughie.
Adele, I've been meaning to ask you a question for some time now, but kept forgetting.
Do you eat at set times (breakfast, lunch, & supper) regardless of hunger, or do you ONLY eat if you're hungry?
Adele's Response:
Well... I don’t really eat at SET times (i.e. especially now that we’re both retired we might get up at 7 and not eat breakfast until 9), but I almost always eat three meals plus one snack every day. I have always had a pretty big appetite so it’s pretty rare that I’m not hungry. But if I’m not hungry at snack time, I’ll skip that. I probably skip my snack once a week, no more than twice, usually when I’ve had a big—or late—lunch. But I never skip lunch or dinner, and I almost never skip breakfast. I almost always eat the same thing for breakfast (3 eggs, cooked in oil), which leaves only 14 meals/week to think about.
While I won’t say I *never eat after dinner, I try not to and rarely do. But if we had a smaller, lower-fat dinner, I’m sometimes hungry before bed and will eat an egg or two before bed if that’s the case. Turkey breast as the protein choice for dinner is usually what has me hungry before bed, lol. The same thing would probably happen with fish but because DH hates fish, we never have it for dinner. I sometimes make fish for my lunch.
Just because I was curious, I dabbled a few times with intermittent fasting within the last year—that’s supposed to be the latest and the greatest for health/weight loss. But it turned out that for me, adding clock-watching to my fairly rigid, paleo-style diet ended up causing me obsess to and worry about food much like I used to, which I really don’t want back in my life. I came to the conclusion that I was trying to fix something that ain’t broken, as the saying goes, so I’m back to doing what I found works so well for me: Three filling meals, boring foods to most people, but peaceful ones to me.
(This is not to say that YOU shouldn’t try intermittent fasting if you read up on it and decide it might be for you. I really get that we’re all individual and have to find—within certain parameters of course—what works best for ourselves.)
Does that answer your question? Hope so!
Adele
132 this morning
Me:
It does answer my question, yes. There are nights when I'm not terribly hungry at suppertime, and I find myself wondering if I should simply skip eating. I used to do that on zero carb (meat only); eating ONLY when one is truly hungry is emphasized strongly. (But then, one must also learn what is "true hunger"--often difficult for people with eating disorders.) Thanks Adele!
07/22/2016
174.5 this morning
Some days I wonder how long can I sustain this way of life* (eating). As if some external force is in charge of my eating habits, or there's a genie somewhere who has granted me a wish of clean eating-weight loss, but only for a limited time, and that time will run out any day now. And then I have to remind myself that it's me...that I am in charge of this thing, this wonderful "thing" of clean eating that is enabling me to get healthy AND lose weight (at the same time!). That if I fail it is on me, because the tools I have now (from Leading With the Diet) are more than enough for me to succeed. I simply have to be strong enough to admit the reality of how really weak I am, and face the knowledge that I will end up back in carbohydrate hell if I go down that road again. It's a dark, scary road with potholes big enough to swallow the whole universe and there's no one around with a winch to pull my arse out. There is a certain amount of strength in weakness.
*My pattern seems to be around 3 months of dieting before crashing.
Adele's Response:
Some ramblings from me:
I think it's really good--maybe even critical--that you recognize your pattern. That's a big step to changing it! Just keep telling yourself no, we're not doing that this time. We're doing something different. That didn't work.
BTW, I still think about, and relate to in many ways, your post where you talked about being alone with a candy dish at your husband's office. What pleasure would you truly have derived from eating that candy? Nobody around, nothing to celebrate, just a little party in your mouth that you used to be able to do. Would that really have been any kind of wonderful? Isn't it interesting and telling that we want and have to resist such meager "pleasure"?
I just stumbled onto this guy, Butter Bob, who I think I love. He's a big proponent of intermittent fasting, I mentioned that in my last post and that it doesn't work for me, at least not right now. I'll never say never though, lol. Anyway, this video in particular really resonated with me about simplicity. Mingled, in his case with the intermittent fasting, but I still loved and really related to what he says about simplicity and how it changed him. Leading with a simple diet WILL change you and I'm not just talking about your weight. Living with the changes over time is what does that. If you can't/won't live with the changes, then you haven't changed. See?
Keep going and keep posting, Trisha.
Adele
133 this morning
(Adele included a link to a Butter Bob video)
08/02/2016
173 this morning
...and the pounds continue to drop, slowly but surely. No calorie counting, no exercise, just healthy high fat/low carb foods.
On Sunday I cooked fried chicken (drumsticks) using Ol' Butter Bob's method with lard. Lard is wonderful stuff.
I've gone back to scrambling my daily eggs in butter, although I'm still using the olive oil for my salads.
Now, my husband has finally admitted he needs to lose weight. I don't know if my weight loss has had an effect on him
or not; I never nag or cajole. I figure an adult person needs to be responsible for their own health and well-being. If you're
going to change a bad habit, such as smoking or weight loss, then you MUST do it for yourself and not for the sake of anyone
else; otherwise the change won't "stick". (Just my opinion, your mileage may vary.) But anyway...he made the decision to
return to a low carbohydrate eating plan, starting yesterday. I...how do I say this? --I will help him, but I cannot/WILL NOT
be his conscience. For instance, this morning I packed a lunch for him (3 of the chicken drumsticks and a salad). Whether
he sticks to the eating plan, though, is entirely up to him. As I said, I do not nag; you're an adult--do the right thing. To me
it's that simple. Assuming he's truly committed to losing weight, I figure I'll help him get his food choices under control first,
and then we can tackle his soda addiction. That's going to be a toughie.
06/29-07/18/2016
06/29/2016
176.5 this morning
Just a note on why it is important to weigh every morning. Yesterday I was at 177. This morning I would have bet any takers that I had gained because I felt as if I had, but no; down half a pound. That's reality versus emotion/feelings/mind games we play with ourselves. That's why it's important to stay out of our head and just do the work.
Adele's Response:
Yes yes yes yes YES!
You (we) have to act, not think. Lead with the facts.
Adele
133 this morning
06/30/2016
176.5 this morning
I was able to take a walk this morning. Very low humidity coupled with a light breeze made for a tremendously satisfying foray back into the world of walking. Yay! Absolutely no pain or tenderness from the once-broken pinky toe, yet I will continue to be watchful of it. I'm taking a vacation day tomorrow to clean my house (since I cannot seem to get it done during my weekends), and I have Monday off for the 4th of July holiday. Yay-rah for 4 day weekends! I think I'll see if The Mister will grill up a bunch of (naked) pork steaks and whatnot. Y'all have a fun and safe weekend!
07/06/2016
176 this morning
(177 yesterday)
Found a Normandy blend of vegetables (frozen) so I've been eating that--cauliflower, broccoli, yellow squash, carrots, zucchini.
Grilled up a bunch of stuff on the 4th and that'll last us a long time (Hebrew Nation all-beef hot dogs, pork steaks, hamburgers, and some sort of cheddar-brat patties (not for me, thanks.)) In addition to all those things, I also cooked up a flat of chicken thighs on Saturday; still loving those for my lunches.
The change in my mind set these days is quite interesting. We talk about the temptation to cheat in terms of the sleeping dragon, or the emotion-laden teenage girl who kicks and screams to get her way. Most of the time my dragon is very much asleep; in fact, I tend to forget about it. But once in a while it does rear its head, testing me, and Sunday was such a day. I had gone with The Mister to his locksmith shop and, long story short, I was left alone in the shop for at least an hour. Now, The Mister keeps candy at his shop for customers and employees; it is there, free for the taking. I was reading, keeping myself occupied whilst waiting for The Mister to return, when from out of nowhere an inner thought suggested that I could eat some of that candy...as much as I wanted...and no one would know. Six months ago I would have probably done it...but instead I thought of how quickly one small misstep would land me at the bottom of a canyon, so to speak. It was like a short internal conversation, sort of like, "Yeah, nobody would know...except me, and I'm the one who matters. Ain't gonna happen, buddy." And do you know that dragon went right on back to sleep?
07/18/2016
175 this morning
Still doing fine; it's comforting having a food routine. Will be going out for lunch today with a young friend. Now, this friend and I
do not get to meet up very often, but when we do I let her choose the place and she usually chooses Culver's. I am taking along my
own food: baked chicken, salad, and raw carrots. (I also brought frozen vegetables that I can eat later if I get hungry.) It's just so
easy to bring one's own food; no need to be embarrassed or anything. What would we do if we had food allergies? --Take our own food,
right? Well, I consider this way of eating to be in that same category--no biggie, it's just the way things are.
176.5 this morning
Just a note on why it is important to weigh every morning. Yesterday I was at 177. This morning I would have bet any takers that I had gained because I felt as if I had, but no; down half a pound. That's reality versus emotion/feelings/mind games we play with ourselves. That's why it's important to stay out of our head and just do the work.
Adele's Response:
Yes yes yes yes YES!
You (we) have to act, not think. Lead with the facts.
Adele
133 this morning
06/30/2016
176.5 this morning
I was able to take a walk this morning. Very low humidity coupled with a light breeze made for a tremendously satisfying foray back into the world of walking. Yay! Absolutely no pain or tenderness from the once-broken pinky toe, yet I will continue to be watchful of it. I'm taking a vacation day tomorrow to clean my house (since I cannot seem to get it done during my weekends), and I have Monday off for the 4th of July holiday. Yay-rah for 4 day weekends! I think I'll see if The Mister will grill up a bunch of (naked) pork steaks and whatnot. Y'all have a fun and safe weekend!
07/06/2016
176 this morning
(177 yesterday)
Found a Normandy blend of vegetables (frozen) so I've been eating that--cauliflower, broccoli, yellow squash, carrots, zucchini.
Grilled up a bunch of stuff on the 4th and that'll last us a long time (Hebrew Nation all-beef hot dogs, pork steaks, hamburgers, and some sort of cheddar-brat patties (not for me, thanks.)) In addition to all those things, I also cooked up a flat of chicken thighs on Saturday; still loving those for my lunches.
The change in my mind set these days is quite interesting. We talk about the temptation to cheat in terms of the sleeping dragon, or the emotion-laden teenage girl who kicks and screams to get her way. Most of the time my dragon is very much asleep; in fact, I tend to forget about it. But once in a while it does rear its head, testing me, and Sunday was such a day. I had gone with The Mister to his locksmith shop and, long story short, I was left alone in the shop for at least an hour. Now, The Mister keeps candy at his shop for customers and employees; it is there, free for the taking. I was reading, keeping myself occupied whilst waiting for The Mister to return, when from out of nowhere an inner thought suggested that I could eat some of that candy...as much as I wanted...and no one would know. Six months ago I would have probably done it...but instead I thought of how quickly one small misstep would land me at the bottom of a canyon, so to speak. It was like a short internal conversation, sort of like, "Yeah, nobody would know...except me, and I'm the one who matters. Ain't gonna happen, buddy." And do you know that dragon went right on back to sleep?
07/18/2016
175 this morning
Still doing fine; it's comforting having a food routine. Will be going out for lunch today with a young friend. Now, this friend and I
do not get to meet up very often, but when we do I let her choose the place and she usually chooses Culver's. I am taking along my
own food: baked chicken, salad, and raw carrots. (I also brought frozen vegetables that I can eat later if I get hungry.) It's just so
easy to bring one's own food; no need to be embarrassed or anything. What would we do if we had food allergies? --Take our own food,
right? Well, I consider this way of eating to be in that same category--no biggie, it's just the way things are.
Weighty Matters 06/21-28/2016
06/21/2016
Adele's Response: Glad you checked in, Trisha. Plugging along is a beautiful thing, no? (As opposed to fighting and being miserable about how unfair this all is, right?)
I love eggs too, I don't think I have ever tired of them. They are quick, inexpensive and easy. They are also the first protein food I eat whenever I've been sick, or have dental work, etc. For me a plate of scrambled eggs is calming, tethering, a kind of simple food-emotional home-base maybe? Does that make sense to you?
I think a big part of my slow turnaround was separating myself from the common cultural belief that I needed--that everybody needs--exciting food. Once you're away from it long enough, you begin to see how complicated it can get and how it's not necessary at all.
Adele
133 this morning
Me: Oh plodding along is a great place to be, trust me. And actually, I don't have a feeling of this lifestyle (of eating) being unfair, at least not this time--I have felt that way before, with other plans, usually right before a "fall" (a tumble back into the dark side of carbs). But this time...it's almost as if I have finally resigned myself to the reality that there are certain foods that my body simply will not, cannot tolerate. And I'm okay with that--that's the big thing. I'm okay with it. I can't even tell you how long I've been "leading" now, and in a way it simply does not matter. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and it works.
06/28/2016
177 this morning
Last week I switched up the amounts of my breakfast foods, increasing the eggs to 4 and reducing the bacon to 2 strips. However I noticed that I got hungry, like around 10'ish every morning. So over the weekend I increased the bacon to 4 strips again (and kept the 4 eggs). Haven't been hungry before lunchtime since. Still eating basically the same foods for lunch and supper, and not missing variety; I simply don't feel the need for it. I can be around all different kinds of "food", and not want any (and I use that term lightly; I'm talking carbohydrate-laden crap.) What does bother me a little is the smell of that stuff...for instance, when I step into the break room at work to heat my lunch and someone has their stuff in the microwave...sometimes the smell of it makes me want to retch. Carbohydrates have a--I don't know, a definite smell. Anyway...
Let's see, what am I working on...oh! I'm so happy that I can now wear my rings! Several years ago, The Mister bought three rings for me (ruby gemstones) that I haven't been able to wear for a long time. I've now lost enough weight that they fit very nicely, thank you. What else...hmm, new clothes. I bought a new pair of slacks, what? --About 2 weeks ago. Yeah, they're too big in the hip area. I bought "curvy" fit slacks because, well, I've been curvy for so long. I really don't need that extra space now, but I certainly won't spend money on another pair. These will be fine for a while. I'm also at the point where I probably need to buy some new jeans, so I'm trying to psych myself up for that event. So it's an interesting combination of imagining myself being in the store trying on jeans, yet NOT spending too much time in my head. I'm telling myself that this event is no big deal (and it honestly isn't), and that this is a good problem to have (needing new clothes because the old ones are getting too big.) Patiently waiting for summer to end and the beautiful fall weather to set in so I can start my daily walks again
Me: 177.5 this morning
All is well; I'm simply plugging along.
I'm paying close attention to the amount of protein I eat--trying to keep it at 4-6 ounces per meal. I'm also eating 4 1/2-cup servings of vegetables for lunch, along with a salad. Supper is a different matter--it's been so hot lately that I'm often not hungry, yet I know I should eat something. So in that case I just fry up some eggs and add a little bit of yellow mustard. I love eggs, never get tired of eating them, and that's really how I can tell if I'm truly hungry or not. Could I eat some eggs? If yes then I'm truly hungry (and not simply bored, etc.)
All is well; I'm simply plugging along.
I'm paying close attention to the amount of protein I eat--trying to keep it at 4-6 ounces per meal. I'm also eating 4 1/2-cup servings of vegetables for lunch, along with a salad. Supper is a different matter--it's been so hot lately that I'm often not hungry, yet I know I should eat something. So in that case I just fry up some eggs and add a little bit of yellow mustard. I love eggs, never get tired of eating them, and that's really how I can tell if I'm truly hungry or not. Could I eat some eggs? If yes then I'm truly hungry (and not simply bored, etc.)
I love eggs too, I don't think I have ever tired of them. They are quick, inexpensive and easy. They are also the first protein food I eat whenever I've been sick, or have dental work, etc. For me a plate of scrambled eggs is calming, tethering, a kind of simple food-emotional home-base maybe? Does that make sense to you?
I think a big part of my slow turnaround was separating myself from the common cultural belief that I needed--that everybody needs--exciting food. Once you're away from it long enough, you begin to see how complicated it can get and how it's not necessary at all.
Adele
133 this morning
Me: Oh plodding along is a great place to be, trust me. And actually, I don't have a feeling of this lifestyle (of eating) being unfair, at least not this time--I have felt that way before, with other plans, usually right before a "fall" (a tumble back into the dark side of carbs). But this time...it's almost as if I have finally resigned myself to the reality that there are certain foods that my body simply will not, cannot tolerate. And I'm okay with that--that's the big thing. I'm okay with it. I can't even tell you how long I've been "leading" now, and in a way it simply does not matter. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and it works.
06/28/2016
177 this morning
Last week I switched up the amounts of my breakfast foods, increasing the eggs to 4 and reducing the bacon to 2 strips. However I noticed that I got hungry, like around 10'ish every morning. So over the weekend I increased the bacon to 4 strips again (and kept the 4 eggs). Haven't been hungry before lunchtime since. Still eating basically the same foods for lunch and supper, and not missing variety; I simply don't feel the need for it. I can be around all different kinds of "food", and not want any (and I use that term lightly; I'm talking carbohydrate-laden crap.) What does bother me a little is the smell of that stuff...for instance, when I step into the break room at work to heat my lunch and someone has their stuff in the microwave...sometimes the smell of it makes me want to retch. Carbohydrates have a--I don't know, a definite smell. Anyway...
Let's see, what am I working on...oh! I'm so happy that I can now wear my rings! Several years ago, The Mister bought three rings for me (ruby gemstones) that I haven't been able to wear for a long time. I've now lost enough weight that they fit very nicely, thank you. What else...hmm, new clothes. I bought a new pair of slacks, what? --About 2 weeks ago. Yeah, they're too big in the hip area. I bought "curvy" fit slacks because, well, I've been curvy for so long. I really don't need that extra space now, but I certainly won't spend money on another pair. These will be fine for a while. I'm also at the point where I probably need to buy some new jeans, so I'm trying to psych myself up for that event. So it's an interesting combination of imagining myself being in the store trying on jeans, yet NOT spending too much time in my head. I'm telling myself that this event is no big deal (and it honestly isn't), and that this is a good problem to have (needing new clothes because the old ones are getting too big.) Patiently waiting for summer to end and the beautiful fall weather to set in so I can start my daily walks again
Wednesday, August 24, 2016
Weighty Matters 06/07-15/2016
06/07/2016
181 this morning
Good to hear your thoughts on broccoli. I forget that it can sometimes take a couple of days for food to register in our bodies. I will start eating more broccoli and find out what happens. You know, I believe I do need to expand my menu of vegetables.
Oh trust me, I know I abandoned the plan...my beloved 4 P's!! I admit, I got lazy. Won't happen again. Yes, I am back on plan, and have learned my lesson.
I'm not willing to give up bacon at this point in time. For now, as long as I continue to lose the pounds, I'll continue to eat it. If I stall however, (maybe I should say when?) I may have to bite the bullet and find an alternative.
06/09/2016
180.5 this morning
I've eaten broccoli two nights in a row with no weight gain, so it was indeed the evil processed meat*/cheese that caused the fluctuation.
"... are you eating *enough vegetables and not too much meat? Have you mapped out your typical day's food on Fitday or another program that gives calories and percentages?
" --I may not be getting the correct ratio of vegetables vs meat. I haven't used FitDay in quite a while, because I figured weight loss=good. Also I don't get hungry in between meals which, to me, means I'm eating enough. But I don't know for sure, Adele--you're the expert!
Here's a typical day's worth of food for me:
Breakfast is 3 eggs scrambled and 4 strips of bacon.
Lunch is chicken (usually)--I don't know how much, because I don't weigh or measure it. I would guess at least an average of 4-6 ounces. Along with the protein, I eat green beans, cauliflower, and a salad (lettuce, celery, and sweet peppers topped with olive oil).
Supper is usually some sort of beef; either plain hamburger patties or a steak, or if I'm not terribly hungry I simply eat more vegetables with no meat.
With lunch and supper, I just eat until I'm full. I never deprive myself, or starve myself--believe me, I eat if I'm hungry! Let me know what you think about my typical food intake.
An interesting thing happened...last month--maybe the end of April, first of May; I don't remember--I bought myself a swimsuit. I haven't had a swimsuit in, oh gosh...I bet it's been 15-20 years. I bought an XL because that's the size I needed at the time. Well, I tried it on again a couple of nights ago and the darn thing is too big (especially in the bust). The silly thing is that I started to get upset about it...you know, having to pick out another one to buy, etc. And then I got ahold of myself mentally, and went, "Dude, you're upset because the suit doesn't fit BECAUSE YOU'VE LOST WEIGHT." It was one of those "oh...I'm an idiot" reactionary moments.
*We get 99% of our meat from a local butcher, including wieners. Because it's a local butcher shop, I tend to think of ALL his products as healthier (than store bought). But I need to remember that line of thinking cannot include wieners, especially those with cheese.
06/13/2016
179.5 this morning
Hello 170s--haven't seen you in quite a while!!
Over the weekend I implemented the less-meat plan. To be honest, I thought I would get hungry. But you're not only cutting back on one thing, you're increasing another, the vegetables. It's a balancing act, and it works. I broadened my vegetable horizon, so to speak, adding all sorts of things to my menu: zucchini, kale, baby spinach, cabbage, carrots. (No tomatoes yet, as I'm trying to grow my own.) Oh, I also decreased the amount of bacon I eat for breakfast (now down to 2 strips) and added one egg. Still feeling great, still not getting hungry between meals; life is good.
I keep forgetting to ask, Adele, whether or not you take a daily multivitamin? I have been, but am wondering your position on them.
Adele's Response:
Seems like things are going really well for you. I hope you'll keep planning and abididng your conflicted feelings about how boring and aggravating this is and how frustrated you sometimes are with yourself (well, your inner 13-year-old is anyway) for making yourself follow through on this commitment to yourself.
Everything I've been reading about lowcarb and ketogenic eating for the last few years (as more and more professionals have come to embrace this, adding to the knowledge base) stresses the importance of not going overboard with protein because if we get more than we need it will convert to glucose and goof up ketosis. The sources I trust believe we should aim for a diet with 70-75% of our calories coming from (GOOD) fats. For me it's an ongoing struggle to get that much fat, I still tend to eat more protein than they recommended. So as you're cutting your protein intake, which is usually a good idea, do make sure you're getting plenty of fat in addition to lots of lowcarb veggies. It's the fat plus the fiber from the lowcarb veggies that I've found makes everything work so beautifully (if boringly, lol)
I do not take a multivitamin but I do take a few individual vitamins including Vitamin C, zinc, biotin, and Vitamin D3. I also began taking a calcium supplement this winter when I learned I had osteoporosis and osteopenia.
Adele
(135 this morning)
06/15/2016
178.5 this morning
Wow, that IS a lot of fat, 70-75%... So I guess it's a good thing then, that I've been drizzling olive oil on everything. (I can't thank you enough for recommending Filippo Berio brand olive oil--all of the good stuff without the taste.) This morning I implemented another change; a small one and yet I have a feeling it will yield big results.) I started cooking my eggs separately from my husband's--his I'll continue to scramble in butter. Mine though, I'll cook in, yes, olive oil. And with that change, my dairy intake is now reduced to the "rare" level.
I bought a new pair of slacks yesterday, size 16 (down from 18) and a very comfortable 16 at that (not sloppy-big but plenty of room).
I believe my broken toe is now healed well enough that I could resume my daily walks, however...the annual Missouri wet woolen blanket (otherwise known as extreme heat and humidity) has settled in, making it too nasty (and sometimes dangerous) to be outside for very long. *sigh* I'll have to bide my time until, oh probably September, but in the meantime I'll just make an effort to move about more in the office.
181 this morning
Good to hear your thoughts on broccoli. I forget that it can sometimes take a couple of days for food to register in our bodies. I will start eating more broccoli and find out what happens. You know, I believe I do need to expand my menu of vegetables.
Oh trust me, I know I abandoned the plan...my beloved 4 P's!! I admit, I got lazy. Won't happen again. Yes, I am back on plan, and have learned my lesson.
I'm not willing to give up bacon at this point in time. For now, as long as I continue to lose the pounds, I'll continue to eat it. If I stall however, (maybe I should say when?) I may have to bite the bullet and find an alternative.
06/09/2016
180.5 this morning
I've eaten broccoli two nights in a row with no weight gain, so it was indeed the evil processed meat*/cheese that caused the fluctuation.
"... are you eating *enough vegetables and not too much meat? Have you mapped out your typical day's food on Fitday or another program that gives calories and percentages?
" --I may not be getting the correct ratio of vegetables vs meat. I haven't used FitDay in quite a while, because I figured weight loss=good. Also I don't get hungry in between meals which, to me, means I'm eating enough. But I don't know for sure, Adele--you're the expert!
Here's a typical day's worth of food for me:Breakfast is 3 eggs scrambled and 4 strips of bacon.
Lunch is chicken (usually)--I don't know how much, because I don't weigh or measure it. I would guess at least an average of 4-6 ounces. Along with the protein, I eat green beans, cauliflower, and a salad (lettuce, celery, and sweet peppers topped with olive oil).
Supper is usually some sort of beef; either plain hamburger patties or a steak, or if I'm not terribly hungry I simply eat more vegetables with no meat.
With lunch and supper, I just eat until I'm full. I never deprive myself, or starve myself--believe me, I eat if I'm hungry! Let me know what you think about my typical food intake.
An interesting thing happened...last month--maybe the end of April, first of May; I don't remember--I bought myself a swimsuit. I haven't had a swimsuit in, oh gosh...I bet it's been 15-20 years. I bought an XL because that's the size I needed at the time. Well, I tried it on again a couple of nights ago and the darn thing is too big (especially in the bust). The silly thing is that I started to get upset about it...you know, having to pick out another one to buy, etc. And then I got ahold of myself mentally, and went, "Dude, you're upset because the suit doesn't fit BECAUSE YOU'VE LOST WEIGHT." It was one of those "oh...I'm an idiot" reactionary moments.
*We get 99% of our meat from a local butcher, including wieners. Because it's a local butcher shop, I tend to think of ALL his products as healthier (than store bought). But I need to remember that line of thinking cannot include wieners, especially those with cheese.
06/13/2016
179.5 this morning
Hello 170s--haven't seen you in quite a while!!
Over the weekend I implemented the less-meat plan. To be honest, I thought I would get hungry. But you're not only cutting back on one thing, you're increasing another, the vegetables. It's a balancing act, and it works. I broadened my vegetable horizon, so to speak, adding all sorts of things to my menu: zucchini, kale, baby spinach, cabbage, carrots. (No tomatoes yet, as I'm trying to grow my own.) Oh, I also decreased the amount of bacon I eat for breakfast (now down to 2 strips) and added one egg. Still feeling great, still not getting hungry between meals; life is good.
I keep forgetting to ask, Adele, whether or not you take a daily multivitamin? I have been, but am wondering your position on them.
Adele's Response:
Seems like things are going really well for you. I hope you'll keep planning and abididng your conflicted feelings about how boring and aggravating this is and how frustrated you sometimes are with yourself (well, your inner 13-year-old is anyway) for making yourself follow through on this commitment to yourself.
Everything I've been reading about lowcarb and ketogenic eating for the last few years (as more and more professionals have come to embrace this, adding to the knowledge base) stresses the importance of not going overboard with protein because if we get more than we need it will convert to glucose and goof up ketosis. The sources I trust believe we should aim for a diet with 70-75% of our calories coming from (GOOD) fats. For me it's an ongoing struggle to get that much fat, I still tend to eat more protein than they recommended. So as you're cutting your protein intake, which is usually a good idea, do make sure you're getting plenty of fat in addition to lots of lowcarb veggies. It's the fat plus the fiber from the lowcarb veggies that I've found makes everything work so beautifully (if boringly, lol)
I do not take a multivitamin but I do take a few individual vitamins including Vitamin C, zinc, biotin, and Vitamin D3. I also began taking a calcium supplement this winter when I learned I had osteoporosis and osteopenia.
Adele
(135 this morning)
06/15/2016
178.5 this morning
Wow, that IS a lot of fat, 70-75%... So I guess it's a good thing then, that I've been drizzling olive oil on everything. (I can't thank you enough for recommending Filippo Berio brand olive oil--all of the good stuff without the taste.) This morning I implemented another change; a small one and yet I have a feeling it will yield big results.) I started cooking my eggs separately from my husband's--his I'll continue to scramble in butter. Mine though, I'll cook in, yes, olive oil. And with that change, my dairy intake is now reduced to the "rare" level.
I bought a new pair of slacks yesterday, size 16 (down from 18) and a very comfortable 16 at that (not sloppy-big but plenty of room).
I believe my broken toe is now healed well enough that I could resume my daily walks, however...the annual Missouri wet woolen blanket (otherwise known as extreme heat and humidity) has settled in, making it too nasty (and sometimes dangerous) to be outside for very long. *sigh* I'll have to bide my time until, oh probably September, but in the meantime I'll just make an effort to move about more in the office.
Weighty Matters 05/31-06/06/2016
05/31/2016
182.5 today
I know you're right about giving the toe time to heal, Adele.
I know you're right about giving the toe time to heal, Adele.
I do not want to risk further injury, or delays in
healing, simply for the sake
of daily walks. I mean, good grief...the fact that
I can only wear sneakers should
be a clue. LoL
The Husband and I took a vacation day on Friday, giving us both a 4-day weekend.
The Husband and I took a vacation day on Friday, giving us both a 4-day weekend.
I did fine--no cheats, although I'm not sure I ate
enough. I was extremely hungry yesterday,
and got hungry
earlier than normal. I fixed myself lunch at 11:00 (Hubby was napping),
where normally I don't get hungry at the office until
around noon. Maybe I was bored or maybe
I was just colder than usual, or perhaps it was a
combination of both; I don't know.
I have been gently exploring the thought of buying some new (smaller) clothing.
I have been gently exploring the thought of buying some new (smaller) clothing.
Have no intention of doing so yet, only exploring
thoughts of it. Because this action in the
past, buying smaller sized clothing, usually triggers all
sorts of feelings...you name the emotion
and chances are I've experienced it in connection with clothes
buying.
So I thought I would try getting myself used to the idea
of smaller sized clothing NOW, gently
and in an emotionally safe place (in my head) where I can
quickly retreat if need be. Sort of
telling myself "it's just a number (clothing size),
don't attach any significance to it, buy what
fits", etc. And if I feel emotions
start to well up, then I mentally walk away.
06/06/2016
182.5 today
This weekend was a learning experience, food-wise. Saturday I was down to 181.5; decided to heat up some (frozen) broccoli for supper. I don't eat broccoli very often--I usually stick to lettuce, cauliflower, and green beans. So I thought broccoli would make a nice change of pace. --And immediately went up half a pound the next morning. Nothing else was different, so I know it was the broccoli. Then! As if that wasn't enough, on Sunday I ate wieners with cheese in them. (Butcher made, but still...) I had forgotten that these particular wieners contain cheese when I heated them up. Did I HAVE to eat the cheesy wieners? No, I could have heated up some chicken or cooked myself a hamburger(s). But I was tired, and I also wanted to see what effect the cheese would have on my weight. Of course it went up, another half pound. So now I know that I should stay away from broccoli, at least for now (wonder if I'll ever be able to add it to my food list?) and my suspicions concerning most dairy products is correct: that I should also avoid them. Lessons learned.
My broken toe is doing very well. I'm walking at a normal gait now, that is on flat surfaces. Still have to be careful on inclines. I'm even wearing dress shoes today instead of sneakers! (Dress shoes = loafers) However I am still going to abstain from daily walks for a while; the reality is that the injury only occurred three weeks ago tomorrow. Maybe in July I'll be able to resume the walks, fingers crossed.
This weekend was a learning experience, food-wise. Saturday I was down to 181.5; decided to heat up some (frozen) broccoli for supper. I don't eat broccoli very often--I usually stick to lettuce, cauliflower, and green beans. So I thought broccoli would make a nice change of pace. --And immediately went up half a pound the next morning. Nothing else was different, so I know it was the broccoli. Then! As if that wasn't enough, on Sunday I ate wieners with cheese in them. (Butcher made, but still...) I had forgotten that these particular wieners contain cheese when I heated them up. Did I HAVE to eat the cheesy wieners? No, I could have heated up some chicken or cooked myself a hamburger(s). But I was tired, and I also wanted to see what effect the cheese would have on my weight. Of course it went up, another half pound. So now I know that I should stay away from broccoli, at least for now (wonder if I'll ever be able to add it to my food list?) and my suspicions concerning most dairy products is correct: that I should also avoid them. Lessons learned.
My broken toe is doing very well. I'm walking at a normal gait now, that is on flat surfaces. Still have to be careful on inclines. I'm even wearing dress shoes today instead of sneakers! (Dress shoes = loafers) However I am still going to abstain from daily walks for a while; the reality is that the injury only occurred three weeks ago tomorrow. Maybe in July I'll be able to resume the walks, fingers crossed.
Adele's Response:
I’m not so sure I’d be dismissing broccoli just yet for many reasons. First off, a measly half-pound fluctuation less than 24 hours later to me is unremarkable or at least premature. Give it 24 hours at least, eat it more than once for a few days without anything else different added (including butter—a “dairy product”). If you see a SIGNIFICANT weight gain, then I’ll accept your conclusion.
I say this especially given that the very next day you “test” highly-processed, cheese-containing hot dogs. (Should I be asking, where was your plan?
) To me that negates your broccoli test entirely. I think it’s entirely possible that had you not decided to eat the hot dogs, you would have lost a pound instead of gained a pound, and that would be an indication that the broccoli was not a problem, that blip was just a blip that we all have on a daily basis.
Having a plan is what is supposed to get you THROUGH tired, cranky moments that we all have.
I’ll also bring up here that upthread you mention you’re eating bacon daily, another processed meat (unless you mean unprocessed pork side/belly, it’s the same cut of meat but no processing, nothing but pure pork.) For breakfast meat, you might want to switch to (homemade?) sausage, which is not processed, or eat an extra egg or two and skip breakfast meat entirely.
Also, for longer-term sustainability, I’ve found eating a wide variety of vegetables to be crucial—way more than three! Every week I eat broccoli, collards greens, kale, cauliflower, carrots (3-4/week), red and green cabbage, brussels sprouts, bean sprouts (primarily sprouted broccoli seeds), green beans, garlic and onions. Most people find they can eat tomatoes and eggplant (they’re nightshades and cause me joint pains, not weight gain).
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Hopefully you’re back on plan and have learned a valuable lesson from this. You always have to have a plan AND the wherewithal to carry on with it even when you and your inner 13-year-old don’t want to.
Adele
(132 this morning)
Adele's Response, part II
How could I forget lettuce, spinach (fresh--sauteed with garlic) and zucchini! Vegetables are what keeps me going.
This also makes me wonder Tricia, are you eating *enough vegetables and not too much meat? Have you mapped out your typical day's food on Fitday or another program that gives calories and percentages?
Adele
132 this morning
I say this especially given that the very next day you “test” highly-processed, cheese-containing hot dogs. (Should I be asking, where was your plan?
) To me that negates your broccoli test entirely. I think it’s entirely possible that had you not decided to eat the hot dogs, you would have lost a pound instead of gained a pound, and that would be an indication that the broccoli was not a problem, that blip was just a blip that we all have on a daily basis. Having a plan is what is supposed to get you THROUGH tired, cranky moments that we all have.
I’ll also bring up here that upthread you mention you’re eating bacon daily, another processed meat (unless you mean unprocessed pork side/belly, it’s the same cut of meat but no processing, nothing but pure pork.) For breakfast meat, you might want to switch to (homemade?) sausage, which is not processed, or eat an extra egg or two and skip breakfast meat entirely.
Also, for longer-term sustainability, I’ve found eating a wide variety of vegetables to be crucial—way more than three! Every week I eat broccoli, collards greens, kale, cauliflower, carrots (3-4/week), red and green cabbage, brussels sprouts, bean sprouts (primarily sprouted broccoli seeds), green beans, garlic and onions. Most people find they can eat tomatoes and eggplant (they’re nightshades and cause me joint pains, not weight gain).
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Hopefully you’re back on plan and have learned a valuable lesson from this. You always have to have a plan AND the wherewithal to carry on with it even when you and your inner 13-year-old don’t want to.
Adele
(132 this morning)
Adele's Response, part II
How could I forget lettuce, spinach (fresh--sauteed with garlic) and zucchini! Vegetables are what keeps me going.
This also makes me wonder Tricia, are you eating *enough vegetables and not too much meat? Have you mapped out your typical day's food on Fitday or another program that gives calories and percentages?
Adele
132 this morning
Weighty Matters 05/23-26/2016
05/23/2016
183.5 this morning
I hurt a pinky toe (left foot) last Tuesday; a heavy door "squarshed" it.
I couldn't put any weight on it for about 24 hours without the pain almost
sending me to the ground. It may be/may have been broken or fractured--I don't know.
I didn't seek medical attention because I know nothing can be done,
medically speaking, for a broken toe except to do what I have been doing,
which is be careful and wear comfortable shoes. Besides the pain of the thing,
what I'm missing are my twice-daily walks. I thought maybe I could try to
resume them today (or at least one), but I realize that ain't gonna happen.
Let's see, tomorrow makes one week since the toe got injured. There's
improvement but not enough. So who knows how long it will be before
I'm walking for exercise again. Clearly, at this point, I don't need the walks
for losing pounds; that's coming along nicely, thank you. But I do enjoy
those walks for...call it emotional sanity. I know, it's only a temporary
situation but it's still frustrating.
Adele's Response:
I understand completely. Exercise, mostly walking, was how I slowly worked through the emotions I had been eating down with "yummy" foods, although I honestly didn't understand that's what I was doing until I'd done it a few years and some long-buried ones sort of bubbled up. I found listening to music while I walked also helped bring my feelings to the surface.
I have also probably broken a toe a few years ago (probably because I never saw a doctor so don't have confirmation), I know that pain, it takes 4-6 weeks to go totally away.
You may find your cravings increasing somewhat as your best emotional outlet is temporarily taken away from you. I hope you won't resort to eating them down to make them go away. I honestly think they HAVE to come out, and that they will in their own good time. All the while you're eating clean through them, learning you can have feelings and not need to "fix" or "treat" them.
Honestly when I was at your point in the journey, I was pretty sure I had no emotional ties to food/eating, that I just had a fussy body that needed to be fed right whether I liked it or not. And while I wasn't wrong about my body, it slowly dawned on me that both things were true: I had a fussy body AND had developed a system to shut uncomfortable emotions off at the pass.
If that all sounds like too much, just ignore me, lol. Just eat clean and let your body (and your mind, if it needs to) deal with the consequences of that. Also, I never said you couldn't binge if you "need" to. You can binge on any lowcarb vegetable you want. I did, probably more than a few times. It didn't harm my body at all. And of course it was totally ineffective at shutting down feelings. I believe that was all part of the slow learning I had to do to change my relationship with food and my body.
Adele
(I forgot to weigh myself today, but I'm healing and positive I'm not gaining weight, lol)
05/25/2016
Oh joy, oh rapture--let the daily walks resume!!
I just got back from one...thought I'd give it a try, just to see how the toe would respond.
There's no pain whatsoever, as long as I don't hurry. And there's no reason to hurry; it's
not as if I'm race-walking. It's the summer term here at the university where I work, so the
campus is practically empty. NICE!
Adele, I hear what you're saying about "eating down emotions". I'd venture to guess that almost
everyone who has a problem with food has issues dealing with emotions. The walking seems to help me,
because I allow my mind to wander while I walk. What's that called? Free association or something
like that. Anyway, you know what I mean. It often seems easier to ponder things and work them out
as I walk...no ringing telephones, no co-workers, no interruptions. And being "clean" helps to foster
a strong base from where I can gently search out feelings and issues. Yet I also remind myself often that
I don't have to resolve all of my issues at once. I feel I have plenty of time for that, another strength that being
"clean" has given me.
Hope you're healing well!
05/26/2016
Waffling between 183 and 182.5 today
The toe is bothering me today, when I stand or walk. I am loathe to say this is due to yesterday's walk, but it's either that or the weather system hanging over us right now (barometric pressure from a severe thunderstorm). In any case, I will not walk my route today as I do not want to irritate the injury further.
It's very interesting to be in a place/state of mind where I can appreciate the sight and smells of high risk foods but yet not be tempted to indulge. For instance, last night The Husband and I ate at our favorite restaurant, the little family style joint in the next town. The Husband asked for onion rings as an appetizer, and our waiter suggested he try them with honey mustard. The Husband did, loved them and said, "You've got to try these!" He almost insisted (which would have pissed me off, pardon my french). The onion rings smelled good, and I said so to him, but I wasn't even tempted to go off plan. It helps to keep in mind that weakness Adele talks about in one of her essays (can't recall the name). Someone made the comment that she was so strong to eat the way she does, but Adele corrected the person. Basically saying that no, she was actually weak; that she knew if she took just one bite of the high-risk food then she wouldn't be able to stop. That weakness, the knowledge and acknowledgement of it, actually gives us strength.
It's raining, lightning and thundering like crazy, so I'm going to get this posted before we lose power!!
Adele's Response:
Just some random thoughts. Mostly I want to urge you to just keep going. You WILL be tempted, I *still am momentarily tempted now and then, just keep walking the straight path, telling that little girl inside you that you know she wants something fun...good...sweet, but you're taking charge and making stronger decisions. One day at a time. Day after month after year. But mostly as they say in AA, "stay in the day" -- be careful about overthinking and getting ahead of yourself. We all seem prone to doing that, I sure do.
One piece of advice for broken toes I've read is to tape the toe to the toe next to it. Can't remember if I did that or not, but if your toe is broken, you're going to have to baby it for a while. Remember: this will pass. And if you let it, this can be the first emotional challenge of this cleaner journey you're on. You will likely WANT to medicate your frustrations and feelings away. Remember, you don't HAVE to. The feelings will pass whether they are medicated or not. If you medicate, you'll bring more problems on yourself. Just eat steady, steady, steady!
I had a tiny bit of sugar yesterday in the surgeon's office, I *might have had a low blood sugar episode brought on my severe pain when he removed my surgical drain. He said give her some sugar! I declined at first, but was clammy and trembling all over, so I had a single lifesaver--and it helped. I'll post about it in my own thread, maybe early next week. I'm okay, I won't cave, but sugar definitely still has power over me these many years later.
I'll look forward to reading your next post, Tricia!
Adele
(134 this morning)
183.5 this morning
I hurt a pinky toe (left foot) last Tuesday; a heavy door "squarshed" it.
I couldn't put any weight on it for about 24 hours without the pain almost
sending me to the ground. It may be/may have been broken or fractured--I don't know.
I didn't seek medical attention because I know nothing can be done,
medically speaking, for a broken toe except to do what I have been doing,
which is be careful and wear comfortable shoes. Besides the pain of the thing,
what I'm missing are my twice-daily walks. I thought maybe I could try to
resume them today (or at least one), but I realize that ain't gonna happen.
Let's see, tomorrow makes one week since the toe got injured. There's
improvement but not enough. So who knows how long it will be before
I'm walking for exercise again. Clearly, at this point, I don't need the walks
for losing pounds; that's coming along nicely, thank you. But I do enjoy
those walks for...call it emotional sanity. I know, it's only a temporary
situation but it's still frustrating.
Adele's Response:
I understand completely. Exercise, mostly walking, was how I slowly worked through the emotions I had been eating down with "yummy" foods, although I honestly didn't understand that's what I was doing until I'd done it a few years and some long-buried ones sort of bubbled up. I found listening to music while I walked also helped bring my feelings to the surface.
I have also probably broken a toe a few years ago (probably because I never saw a doctor so don't have confirmation), I know that pain, it takes 4-6 weeks to go totally away.
You may find your cravings increasing somewhat as your best emotional outlet is temporarily taken away from you. I hope you won't resort to eating them down to make them go away. I honestly think they HAVE to come out, and that they will in their own good time. All the while you're eating clean through them, learning you can have feelings and not need to "fix" or "treat" them.
Honestly when I was at your point in the journey, I was pretty sure I had no emotional ties to food/eating, that I just had a fussy body that needed to be fed right whether I liked it or not. And while I wasn't wrong about my body, it slowly dawned on me that both things were true: I had a fussy body AND had developed a system to shut uncomfortable emotions off at the pass.
If that all sounds like too much, just ignore me, lol. Just eat clean and let your body (and your mind, if it needs to) deal with the consequences of that. Also, I never said you couldn't binge if you "need" to. You can binge on any lowcarb vegetable you want. I did, probably more than a few times. It didn't harm my body at all. And of course it was totally ineffective at shutting down feelings. I believe that was all part of the slow learning I had to do to change my relationship with food and my body.
Adele
(I forgot to weigh myself today, but I'm healing and positive I'm not gaining weight, lol)
05/25/2016
Oh joy, oh rapture--let the daily walks resume!!
I just got back from one...thought I'd give it a try, just to see how the toe would respond.
There's no pain whatsoever, as long as I don't hurry. And there's no reason to hurry; it's
not as if I'm race-walking. It's the summer term here at the university where I work, so the
campus is practically empty. NICE!
Adele, I hear what you're saying about "eating down emotions". I'd venture to guess that almost
everyone who has a problem with food has issues dealing with emotions. The walking seems to help me,
because I allow my mind to wander while I walk. What's that called? Free association or something
like that. Anyway, you know what I mean. It often seems easier to ponder things and work them out
as I walk...no ringing telephones, no co-workers, no interruptions. And being "clean" helps to foster
a strong base from where I can gently search out feelings and issues. Yet I also remind myself often that
I don't have to resolve all of my issues at once. I feel I have plenty of time for that, another strength that being
"clean" has given me.
Hope you're healing well!
05/26/2016
Waffling between 183 and 182.5 today
The toe is bothering me today, when I stand or walk. I am loathe to say this is due to yesterday's walk, but it's either that or the weather system hanging over us right now (barometric pressure from a severe thunderstorm). In any case, I will not walk my route today as I do not want to irritate the injury further.
It's very interesting to be in a place/state of mind where I can appreciate the sight and smells of high risk foods but yet not be tempted to indulge. For instance, last night The Husband and I ate at our favorite restaurant, the little family style joint in the next town. The Husband asked for onion rings as an appetizer, and our waiter suggested he try them with honey mustard. The Husband did, loved them and said, "You've got to try these!" He almost insisted (which would have pissed me off, pardon my french). The onion rings smelled good, and I said so to him, but I wasn't even tempted to go off plan. It helps to keep in mind that weakness Adele talks about in one of her essays (can't recall the name). Someone made the comment that she was so strong to eat the way she does, but Adele corrected the person. Basically saying that no, she was actually weak; that she knew if she took just one bite of the high-risk food then she wouldn't be able to stop. That weakness, the knowledge and acknowledgement of it, actually gives us strength.
It's raining, lightning and thundering like crazy, so I'm going to get this posted before we lose power!!
Adele's Response:
Just some random thoughts. Mostly I want to urge you to just keep going. You WILL be tempted, I *still am momentarily tempted now and then, just keep walking the straight path, telling that little girl inside you that you know she wants something fun...good...sweet, but you're taking charge and making stronger decisions. One day at a time. Day after month after year. But mostly as they say in AA, "stay in the day" -- be careful about overthinking and getting ahead of yourself. We all seem prone to doing that, I sure do.
One piece of advice for broken toes I've read is to tape the toe to the toe next to it. Can't remember if I did that or not, but if your toe is broken, you're going to have to baby it for a while. Remember: this will pass. And if you let it, this can be the first emotional challenge of this cleaner journey you're on. You will likely WANT to medicate your frustrations and feelings away. Remember, you don't HAVE to. The feelings will pass whether they are medicated or not. If you medicate, you'll bring more problems on yourself. Just eat steady, steady, steady!
I had a tiny bit of sugar yesterday in the surgeon's office, I *might have had a low blood sugar episode brought on my severe pain when he removed my surgical drain. He said give her some sugar! I declined at first, but was clammy and trembling all over, so I had a single lifesaver--and it helped. I'll post about it in my own thread, maybe early next week. I'm okay, I won't cave, but sugar definitely still has power over me these many years later.
I'll look forward to reading your next post, Tricia!
Adele
(134 this morning)
Weighty Matters 05/10-20/2016
05/10/2016
185.5 this morning
Yes, I'm going to continue the no-butter phase for at least another week. I think I
originally said 30 days, but I'm pretty sure I'll know results after this week. I doubt
that one tablespoon of butter a day (used to scramble 6 eggs, split btwn Hubby & me)
makes much difference. Still it's good to find out...and it's good to know that I don't
feel the NEED to use butter.
05/13/2016
186 this morning
All right, the butter ban is ended, as of today.
No changes in sinus issues whatsoever. *shrug*
I tried. And I'm glad I did; it was worth it.
I went two weeks without using butter. The first
week I used bacon grease for the morning eggs;
the second week I used extra light olive oil. The
only change I saw was no weight loss in week two.
Coincidence between no weight loss and olive oil?
Hmm...who knows.
This morning my weight was 186 and, I must admit,
I experienced a momentary flash of pissed-offedeness.
Just for a second, and then I got my emotions back under
control. And when I wrote the number down in the
pocket calendar I use to record my daily weight, I
noticed that the same thing happened last week
(where I had no pounds lost in a three day span).
This is another reason why it's important to weigh daily
AND write that number down. Because I had forgotten
about the no-pounds-lost in a 3 day span of last week.
Seeing that pattern made it okay; as in, it's happened before
and it'll probably happen again. I'm still a pound lighter this
week than last week. I didn't gain all of my weight overnight
and I certainly won't lose it overnight. It's going to take
time, a LOT of time, and I am in this for...well, forever really.
I started to write "for as long as it takes", which is essentially forever.
I have come to realize...no, not realize. I have admitted and
acknowledged to myself that I cannot eat certain foods
and expect my body to thrive.
On a positive note, I am at the point where I need to wear
a belt with my khaki pants, otherwise I am constantly
hitchin' up my britches on my daily walks.
05/16/2016
185.5 this morning
I've been leading with the diet for one month, and I feel so much better
now than 30 days ago.
It hasn't always been easy, although with implementation of the 4Ps life gets
more simple (planning, preparation, patience, and practice).
Wait...it's not easy, yet it's simple--what does that mean??
Well, it IS simple...you plan your meals ahead of time, and you cook ahead
of time what needs to be cooked, along with chopping and dicing, and even
packaging it up so you can just grab and go. You know exactly what you're
going to eat and when you're going to it, and you rarely (if ever) deviate from
that plan. Then you have to practice patience; the weight coming off is a waiting
game of sorts, and it will happen...but you have to have patience when, say,
you're only losing half a pound every week or two.
But no, it is NOT easy. You cannot rely on anybody else but yourself.
Don't expect anyone else to support this way of life.
Don't expect not to be tempted by smells or sights of certain foods because, oh baby,
those temptations are ALWAYS hovering just below the surface. It's not willpower
that will carry you through but sheer stubbornness and determination to turn away/
walk away from the things you need to. Don't expect not to get mad and depressed
at your own body for not being able to handle all the junk foods that everybody
else on the planet seems to be able to shove in their mouths and not gain an ounce.
05/18/2016
184.5 this morning
Wow...I think my husband understands what I'm doing with the eating plan* I've implemented.
Tomorrow I'm tagging along with him to a trade show of sorts, that is being held in a city a couple
of hours away...well, an hour and a half at least. Anyway, food will be provided/catered but you
know how that goes; I expect a lot of carbohydrate-laden foods. I already had a plan in place,
although I was going to wait until tomorrow to bring up the subject. To my surprise, he
said to me this morning, "I'm not sure what you're going to do about food tomorrow." I told
him I was planning on taking my own food, just in case, and he thinks it's a good idea. Now
I have to admit that I was expecting some push back from him, some level of...I don't know.
Embarrassment maybe? But no, he seemed genuinely concerned for my situation. It was
touching. Since I don't know if there will be a microwave available, I'm going to take along
some baked chicken thighs and a large salad. That should suffice until supper.
*I refuse to use the word "diet"--I don't like that word.
05/20/2016
184 this morning
The trade show situation went extremely well yesterday. I packed my salad and chicken (already cut up) the night before, so all I had to do the morning of was grab the container, and make sure I had a fork and olive oil. The purse I carry is big enough that everything fit inside nicely. I was very glad I brought my own food, because there was nothing at the banquet I could have eaten. (Trigger warning*, menu below.) When the time came, I simply pulled out my container and had at it. Another locksmith who sat at our table, said, "You're smart; you brought your own food!!" I enjoy being at a place in my life where I'm not bothered or embarrassed to bring my own food. It's a fact of life...no different really than doing it because of food allergies.
The fourth notch...
I think I mentioned having to wear a belt with my khaki pants (which is a good sign, truly it is.) The weird thing is that I am now using the fourth notch on the belt. I have had this belt for...oh, I don't know. Probably at least 5 years. At my heaviest weight (198 last January), I was using the second notch, and it was getting uncomfortable--thought I would have to drop down to the 1st notch. Now here I am, all the way over on notch #4. The first time I put on the belt with the khakis this week, I slid the prong into notch #3, but it was way too loose. Yet when I put the prong into notch #4, my mind said "that can't be right, you're bigger than this...aren't you?" Isn't it funny how our minds can sometimes work against us? --Which is why I try to stay out of my head as much as possible where these things are concerned. It's really just a number, all of this--clothing sizes, belt sizes, etc. Don't attach too much value to the number; buy what fits you.
Adele's Response:
I love reading your updates. It sounds like you're acknowledging your past patterns, and working hard to engineer your own success. You're doing everything right, it's working. The biggest battle for the next few years will be mastering control of your inner teenager. If you can do that without interruption for a long time, you will SLOWLY divorce your emotions from your food decisions. I can't remember the names of the pertinent essays on that, Growing Up Emotionally and the one about computer hard drives come to mind. I'm on my tablet right now and can't look them up. Mostly though you just lead with the diet, and let your feelings go wherever they want. Stay prepared, stay at least one day ahead. If you build it--a strong simple plan with no deviations--they will come. "They" are all the emotions you've been eating down. If you stop eating them down, you'll slowly build new skills for experiencing feelings.
I'm getting ahead of myself! Just keep going and keep me/us posted. I'm so happy for you. You did great with taking your own food to an event and being ready to deal with the consequences.
Adele
138 this morning
185.5 this morning
Yes, I'm going to continue the no-butter phase for at least another week. I think I
originally said 30 days, but I'm pretty sure I'll know results after this week. I doubt
that one tablespoon of butter a day (used to scramble 6 eggs, split btwn Hubby & me)
makes much difference. Still it's good to find out...and it's good to know that I don't
feel the NEED to use butter.
05/13/2016
186 this morning
All right, the butter ban is ended, as of today.
No changes in sinus issues whatsoever. *shrug*
I tried. And I'm glad I did; it was worth it.
I went two weeks without using butter. The first
week I used bacon grease for the morning eggs;
the second week I used extra light olive oil. The
only change I saw was no weight loss in week two.
Coincidence between no weight loss and olive oil?
Hmm...who knows.
This morning my weight was 186 and, I must admit,
I experienced a momentary flash of pissed-offedeness.
Just for a second, and then I got my emotions back under
control. And when I wrote the number down in the
pocket calendar I use to record my daily weight, I
noticed that the same thing happened last week
(where I had no pounds lost in a three day span).
This is another reason why it's important to weigh daily
AND write that number down. Because I had forgotten
about the no-pounds-lost in a 3 day span of last week.
Seeing that pattern made it okay; as in, it's happened before
and it'll probably happen again. I'm still a pound lighter this
week than last week. I didn't gain all of my weight overnight
and I certainly won't lose it overnight. It's going to take
time, a LOT of time, and I am in this for...well, forever really.
I started to write "for as long as it takes", which is essentially forever.
I have come to realize...no, not realize. I have admitted and
acknowledged to myself that I cannot eat certain foods
and expect my body to thrive.
On a positive note, I am at the point where I need to wear
a belt with my khaki pants, otherwise I am constantly
hitchin' up my britches on my daily walks.
05/16/2016
185.5 this morning
I've been leading with the diet for one month, and I feel so much better
now than 30 days ago.
It hasn't always been easy, although with implementation of the 4Ps life gets
more simple (planning, preparation, patience, and practice).
Wait...it's not easy, yet it's simple--what does that mean??
Well, it IS simple...you plan your meals ahead of time, and you cook ahead
of time what needs to be cooked, along with chopping and dicing, and even
packaging it up so you can just grab and go. You know exactly what you're
going to eat and when you're going to it, and you rarely (if ever) deviate from
that plan. Then you have to practice patience; the weight coming off is a waiting
game of sorts, and it will happen...but you have to have patience when, say,
you're only losing half a pound every week or two.
But no, it is NOT easy. You cannot rely on anybody else but yourself.
Don't expect anyone else to support this way of life.
Don't expect not to be tempted by smells or sights of certain foods because, oh baby,
those temptations are ALWAYS hovering just below the surface. It's not willpower
that will carry you through but sheer stubbornness and determination to turn away/
walk away from the things you need to. Don't expect not to get mad and depressed
at your own body for not being able to handle all the junk foods that everybody
else on the planet seems to be able to shove in their mouths and not gain an ounce.
05/18/2016
184.5 this morning
Wow...I think my husband understands what I'm doing with the eating plan* I've implemented.
Tomorrow I'm tagging along with him to a trade show of sorts, that is being held in a city a couple
of hours away...well, an hour and a half at least. Anyway, food will be provided/catered but you
know how that goes; I expect a lot of carbohydrate-laden foods. I already had a plan in place,
although I was going to wait until tomorrow to bring up the subject. To my surprise, he
said to me this morning, "I'm not sure what you're going to do about food tomorrow." I told
him I was planning on taking my own food, just in case, and he thinks it's a good idea. Now
I have to admit that I was expecting some push back from him, some level of...I don't know.
Embarrassment maybe? But no, he seemed genuinely concerned for my situation. It was
touching. Since I don't know if there will be a microwave available, I'm going to take along
some baked chicken thighs and a large salad. That should suffice until supper.
*I refuse to use the word "diet"--I don't like that word.
05/20/2016
184 this morning
The trade show situation went extremely well yesterday. I packed my salad and chicken (already cut up) the night before, so all I had to do the morning of was grab the container, and make sure I had a fork and olive oil. The purse I carry is big enough that everything fit inside nicely. I was very glad I brought my own food, because there was nothing at the banquet I could have eaten. (Trigger warning*, menu below.) When the time came, I simply pulled out my container and had at it. Another locksmith who sat at our table, said, "You're smart; you brought your own food!!" I enjoy being at a place in my life where I'm not bothered or embarrassed to bring my own food. It's a fact of life...no different really than doing it because of food allergies.
The fourth notch...
I think I mentioned having to wear a belt with my khaki pants (which is a good sign, truly it is.) The weird thing is that I am now using the fourth notch on the belt. I have had this belt for...oh, I don't know. Probably at least 5 years. At my heaviest weight (198 last January), I was using the second notch, and it was getting uncomfortable--thought I would have to drop down to the 1st notch. Now here I am, all the way over on notch #4. The first time I put on the belt with the khakis this week, I slid the prong into notch #3, but it was way too loose. Yet when I put the prong into notch #4, my mind said "that can't be right, you're bigger than this...aren't you?" Isn't it funny how our minds can sometimes work against us? --Which is why I try to stay out of my head as much as possible where these things are concerned. It's really just a number, all of this--clothing sizes, belt sizes, etc. Don't attach too much value to the number; buy what fits you.
Adele's Response:
I love reading your updates. It sounds like you're acknowledging your past patterns, and working hard to engineer your own success. You're doing everything right, it's working. The biggest battle for the next few years will be mastering control of your inner teenager. If you can do that without interruption for a long time, you will SLOWLY divorce your emotions from your food decisions. I can't remember the names of the pertinent essays on that, Growing Up Emotionally and the one about computer hard drives come to mind. I'm on my tablet right now and can't look them up. Mostly though you just lead with the diet, and let your feelings go wherever they want. Stay prepared, stay at least one day ahead. If you build it--a strong simple plan with no deviations--they will come. "They" are all the emotions you've been eating down. If you stop eating them down, you'll slowly build new skills for experiencing feelings.
I'm getting ahead of myself! Just keep going and keep me/us posted. I'm so happy for you. You did great with taking your own food to an event and being ready to deal with the consequences.
Adele
138 this morning
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