4/19/2017

157.5 today

Monday the 17th was my one year anniversary of Leading With the Diet.  One whole year...365 days...I have never in my life stuck with a "diet" that long, never.  --And I have no intention of stopping!

I still deal with leftover emotional issues of being fat for so long.  (Yes, I used the eff word.)  For instance, I locked up in the shorts section of Wally World the other day, having an internal conversation about which size I needed.  Went something like this:

"You wear a size 14."
But the 14's look so SMALL.  Better buy a size 16.
"You wear a size 14!  Remember, the pants you bought last December are a size 14 and you have plenty of room."
Did I mention the 14's look small?  You CANNOT be THAT small!!
"You are NOT a size 16 anymore!  This is ridiculous--just get the 14's, for crying out loud!!"

It was insane; I mean it.  I stood there so long I was afraid a sales associate was going to think I had intentions of shop lifting!!  I had to force myself to pick up a pair of size 14 shorts and walk away, and even minutes later I was still debating whether they were going to fit.  *sigh*

Anyway, aside from those momentary flashes of crazy, life is otherwise good.

4/5/2017

Weight has been between 156-157 for a while now.  I'm at a point where my old extra-large clothing looks bad on me--as in, makes me look as if I'm ill.  LoL  So I'm purging my closet; so far I'm down one pair of slacks and several skirts (and one belt).  The skirts hurt the most, because I had collected several over time and now I have to basically start over.  (P.s. I hate shopping.)  There is only one skirt left in my wardrobe that fits me properly, and I bought that one just last fall.  On a happier note though, I can now fit into a dress that I haven't been able to squeeze into for at least a decade.  I can't tell you why I held onto this dress for so long...other than it's really pretty and I love the colors...and I suppose I always held out hope that some day I would be able to wear it again.  --And that day has finally arrived.  I'm starting to ask myself whether I would be okay (emotionally, etc.) if my weight loss stopped here in the mid-150s.  Admittedly 156 is not my initial weight loss goal (it's 150)...but it's so close (to 150) and I feel really terrific right now.  I feel skinny, and happy, and...content.  And I think that last one might be the most important feeling of all:  content.  So yes, I would be okay if I never lost another pound (but I don't think I'm finished yet).  In 12 days I will hit my one year anniversary of Leading With the Diet, and I fully intend to live out the rest of my life eating clean.