Weight Loss & Finding True Self: It's All Connected

It’s all connected…all of it; the weight loss affects everything, and everything is affected by the weight loss.  Everything! 

 This is going to sound weird at first, but bear with me.  The longer I am healthy the more mental and emotional issues are coming to the surface.  In essence, I guess being healthy is allowing me to finally deal with some things that I really didn’t even know were matters of concern.  And it’s only now, being at a stable place with my eating and weight, that I have the strength to stare down those problems and finally deal with them. 

Take hair, for example.  Hair, in and of itself, shouldn’t be a big deal, right?Unless your sense of self-worth and your supposed true self are tangled up in the belief that you NEED long hair.  Not want…NEED.  That without long hair, you are not enough.  That without long hair, you are not YOU.  Well, I am 55 years old and I am now on a journey to find?  --return to?  --present my authenticate self and, for me, the hair issue must be dealt with. 

I’ve lost 50 pounds over the past year and a half.  I’m fit now and healthy, looking good.  Yet unbeknownst to me, I was still clinging to a misconceived notion of what I need to look like.  I have thinning hair, an issue I’ve been dealing with since 2009.  Finally, in May of this year, I got a pixie cut because I was tired of the stress and anxiety of trying to make sure all my thin spots were covered, all day, every day.  Having a short cut helped immensely…I haven’t felt that happy and carefree concerning my hair in years.  Then a couple of months after the cut, I decided I wanted long hair again.  BECAUSE IN MY HEAD, THAT’S WHO I AM:  I am a Longhair.  Only I’m not, you see.  I can’t BE that person anymore because my hair won’t let me.  Even though I was ecstatic with the pixie cut, I was trying to turn back the clock and shove myself into a box where I *thought* I would be happy.  Why?  Why would I do that to myself?? 

So I had to have a talk with myself.  Remember when you were bald while taking chemo treatments?  Did you stop being Trisha?  Does hair, or absence thereof, honestly change who you are on the inside? 

There’s a song by India Arie that says it all.  And I’m parking the video here as a reminder to myself.  I am not my hair…I am not this skin.  “Was it the hair that got me this far?”

I have a hair appointment tomorrow morning to reclaim the pixie cut. 

And I will rock it.  J  

11/08/2017

150 lbs today
I've implemented a few changes recently that I want to document.  First, I've started weighing only once a week.  The daily scale ritual served me very well at the beginning of my weight loss journey, but at this point I feel it unnecessary.

Second, I've dipped my toe into the fruit end of the pool.  I gave my body a year and a half to detox, heal, and reset itself.  I figured now would be a good time to see if my body can handle natural sugars (fruit).  I started slowly (a week ago), and am eating only apples and grapes at the moment.

Third, I added some nuts back into my diet about two weeks ago, mostly almonds and pecans.

Wonder of wonders...NO WEIGHT GAIN.  I am observing very strict portion control...2-3 servings of both nuts and fruits per day, 1/4 cup portions of the nuts, and 1/2 cup portions of the fruits.

Very happy and excited!!

10/18/2017

Weight today is 151

I'm not posting to this blog much anymore; maybe once a month, maybe not.  My weight is fairly constant at 150-151, depending on what I eat.  I still weigh most every morning, although some weekends I do forget.  I'm not exercising, neither do I intend to start.  Should I?  Meh...honestly, I don't really believe in it, as it relates to weight loss/weight control.  If you enjoy exercising then knock yourself out.  I'll be the one in the corner, watching you sweat yourself silly whilst I enjoy a cup of Earl Grey.

I'm 18 months into this way of eating, so I know what I'm doing.  Can I call myself a "master" of this eating plan?  Mmm, I'm reluctant to do so.  Maybe at the 2 or 3 year mark...or 5 years...who knows.

All of that to say that I believe my body has hit "terminal" weight (150/151).  I'd be surprised if I lost any more pounds...and I'm fine with that.  I'm happy & content with my number and with the way my body looks now.

9/07/2017

Weight today is 150.8 lbs

I haven't updated this blog since July because nothing has happened.  My weight is exactly the same today as it was about a month and a half ago.  I'm thinking this is it--that my body is saying its happy at 150 pounds, which is fine by me.  There really aren't any foods I can give up at this point that would make a difference (cause me to lose), at least none I can think of...I'm still eating basically the same foods every day.  Eggs (4) scrambled in butter, with about 1/2 cups of broccoli for breakfast; chicken thighs (baked), salad (olive oil dressing), and about 2 cups of either green beans or cauliflower for lunch; and for supper, either more chicken, 1 or 2 ground been patties (depending on how big they are), with possibly another salad or more cauliflower, broccoli, or green beans.  Hubby can't understand how I don't get bored eating the same foods, but I really don't.  It gives me a sense of saneness, sensibility, and control.  And I just happen to love all those foods.  Once my weight has remained the same for, oh, I don't know, 3 months or so, then I may try adding some low carb fruits (berries) and/or nuts back into my diet, but I will have to be vigilant.  I still weigh every day, so the scale will let me know.

Kindergarten and Feelings

Sugar Cookie* started kindergarten today.  This day came around so fast!  In reality I know that it didn't happen fast, yet I feel as if it did.  I feel like today kindergarten, tomorrow high school.  Pay me no never mind; just a grandmother feeling all the feels today.  As I stood outside the school this afternoon, waiting for Sugar Cookie to depart, I engaged in one of my favorite activities:  people watching.  I like to observe people--I can't help it.  Anyway, I was watching a small group of young women talking together, in their 30's I would guess, all tanned and toned and skinny.  Now, in my fat days, I would have tried my best to make myself invisible because I would have felt inadequate compared to those younger, thinner women.  I would not have wanted to be compared to them.  Today I suddenly realized that I sensed nothing when I looked at them.  I didn't feel inadequate.  I didn't want to be invisible.  I felt...good enough.  Then I realized that these people would never think of me as fat--they didn't know me "when".  Anyone I meet now through Sugar Cookie's school is going to associate me with being skinny Nana.  Actually, anybody new I meet from here on out will never know the fat me, unless I show them pictures.  And that's kind of a weird feeling.

8/18/2017 ETA (I posted this entry yesterday, even though I knew in my heart it wasn't finished...I simply couldn't form the final thoughts as to what I needed to say.  Then on the quiet drive home, when a lot of my "aha!" moments come, I knew what else I wanted to say.  So here it is:

I don't want strangers to look at me and think dismissively, "She's probably one of those naturally skinny people who can eat anything they want and never gain a pound.  I wish I was like her."  Umm...NO.  I worked hard to get down to the size I am now.  I gave up a lot to lose those pounds, and I have to CONTINUE working hard to KEEP those pounds off.  As I've said before, it's simple but it ain't easy.  Nothing about this lifestyle is easy; this takes full-on commitment, and constant vigilance.  I guess I don't want anyone taking skinny Nana for granted.  The best I can hope for is that I can share this way of life with anybody who asks.


*The blog nickname for my granddaughter; she was born on national sugar cookie day.  :-)

7/27/2017

150.8 today

150 pounds...I haven't weighed this little since my initial foray into low carb, back in 05-06.  I hit the 150 mark once and the very next day went off plan (and stayed off plan for a very long time)...which I have no intention of doing this time.  It feels good being this weight but, I have to admit, it still messes with my mind a bit.  Every time I hit a new low weight, it takes me a few days to accept it.  I expect it now, that mental twitch, the unbelief (...that CAN'T be right), and I know I simply do the work and stay out of my head, and it'll be all right.

7/24/2017

Weight 152.4

Had a weird thing happen over the weekend.
On Friday I weighed 152.6 lbs.
On Saturday I weighed 155.8 lbs!!!
On Sunday I was back down to 152.4 lbs.

The only different parameter is that on Friday I ate about half a cup of cherry tomatoes that a co-worker brought to share with the office.  They did have a very sweet taste, however I didn't think tomatoes (of any variety) affected me; now I know differently.  So my new mantra is "tastes sweet, don't eat".  :-)

7/19/2017

Weight
152.6 today
I bought a new bathroom scale last weekend, as I wanted a more accurate measurement.  My old scale only measured to the nearest half pound, while the new one measures to .2 lbs.  It's a Detecto brand that I found at Mennard's.

My weight sort of stalled again after I gave up nuts, sticking around 153/153 1/2.  I reviewed what I was eating, which isn't hard as I usually eat the same things every day.  I think it may be a twofold problem...one, not enough fat and two, butter.  So over the last couple of days, I've started adding a little more olive oil whenever I can, drizzling it onto my chicken and the veggies.  (I already use it on my salads for dressing.)  The butter...ah yes, the butter.  Butter is the only dairy I consume on a regular basis, using about a tablespoon in my scrambled eggs every morning.  It had never caused me problems in the past, at least it didn't seem to...but who knows?  So yesterday I started using olive oil for my eggs and, voila`, this morning I am down one pound.  Coincidence?  Combination of the two (higher fat/no butter)??  Hmm...

7/10/2017

Weight
Down to 153 today...which tells me I have to stay away from nuts.  Now, I haven't tried any other nuts besides almonds and pecans, but at this point I'm reluctant to do so.  Like I said, I don't really need them; I'll eat more veggies if I'm hungry.  

Other
Every day on my grow-or-cut hair survey has been "grow"; with two days left, it seems pointless to continue.  So grow it will be!  --At least for a while.  I've learned over the years that hair length doesn't have to be an all or nothing proposition.  If in two months time I change my mind and get it all chopped off again, that's fine too.  

7/6/2017

Weight 
154 today, down half a pound.  Pretty sure the almonds are a no-no, but need more than one day to confirm.  

I've been hearing more and more about Alzheimer's Disease basically being type 3 diabetes, which makes perfect sense to me, as someone who is insulin resistant.  That's an excellent article at the link.  "If you have insulin resistance, then your carbohydrate metabolism is badly damaged."  --Yep, that's me.  

Other
I started on Monday, the 3rd, keeping a log of how I feel about my hair, cut or grow.  I have a 10 day log, ending on the 12th, so I can give my stylist plenty of notice to cancel (the appt. is on the 14th), should the vote go that way...which I'm pretty sure it will.  It's just a fun little distraction.  

7/5/2017

Weight
154.5 today.
When I gave up bacon, I started adding nuts (almonds) back into my diet, a quarter of a cup every afternoon, and I believe that was a mistake.  So I'm giving them up (again) starting today and see if my weight starts dropping.  If not, if I've reached terminal weight, that's fine, but I need to know.  It's simple enough to give them up (nuts); half the time I think they're simply a habit instead of true hunger.  And if I'm truly hungry, then I need to eat some veggies.

On a positive note, here are my measurements (bust, waist, hips):
Sept. 2014 = 44/42/44
March 2015 = 44/41/44
June 2016 = 43/40/41
July 2017 = 40/35.5/38.5

Quite the difference, eh?!  :-)

Other
Suddenly I want to grow out my hair again.  I don't know what happened, what changed...this is the greatest hair cut I've ever had--seriously.  It flatters me, it's easy to care for, it disguises my thin spots.  I was at work on Monday, doing nothing in particular, when suddenly, literally out of the blue, I got the urge to grow my out my hair.  *sigh*  And I guess there's nothing wrong with going from one end of the length spectrum to the other, but I thought *this* hair cut was it, you know?  I have an appointment with my scissors lady next Friday, the 14th, so I have until then to decide.

6/16/2017

I needed new skirts; you'll remember that I got rid of the majority of my old ones because they were too big.  It just so happened that Penney's is having a heckuva sale today, so off I went during my lunch hour to see what I could find.  All of my old skirts were long and flowing, with elastic waistbands--good for covering a myriad of flaws.  But now I want a more businesslike look...something to show off these curves I've uncovered!  Because I wasn't sure of size, I picked out a couple of pencil skirts (I've secretly always wanted to wear pencil skirts), a size 12* and a size 14, and got me to a dressing room.  I held up the size 12 skirt against my body, eyeballing myself much like a mother would do.  The drama queen inside me yelled, "Oh no, that's not going to fit--no way!!"  However...the quiet, logical side of my brain whispered, "Try it on anyway," and I'll be damned...IT FIT.  Once I knew what size skirt I needed, I moved on to choosing a couple of blouses to compliment them.  Apparently I am now a size medium in tops*.

Now I admit...there were some moments in the dressing room where I simply had to pause and let things soak in.  I started out last year wearing a size 18/XL and now I wear a size 12 skirt/pants and a medium size top.  My head did spin a little and I literally had to brace myself against the wall for a second.  Don't get me wrong, it's a good thing, this losing weight and having to go down in clothing sizes.  Sometimes it's difficult accepting these changes emotionally- and mentally-speaking, but I'm awfully proud of myself.  :-)




*Talking about the Worthington and the Liz Claiborne brands sold at JC Penney, which is awesome for work wear.  The frustrating thing though, is that there is no size standardization between brands--heck, not even within one brand itself.

6/06/2017

Weight
154.5 today
I had to look twice at the scale this morning.  Did I really lose a pound overnight, or had my eyesight gotten worse?  Nope, I really did lose a pound overnight!  The no-bacon rule seems to be working, slowly but surely.  Honestly, I feel good without it, and adapted quickly to not eating it, that I doubt I will ever resume that daily habit.  Scrambled eggs and broccoli do me just fine for breakfast.  For lunch, I have 4-6 ounces of protein, what amounts to about 2 cups of veggies (usually 2 different kind), and 1-2 cups of lettuce with olive oil as dressing.  Sometimes I add some sweet peppers to the lettuce.  Supper is typically more protein with another salad (lettuce, etc.).  I'm finding that I do better the lighter I eat for supper.

6/02/2017

Weight
155 today

I've been logging my daily food into the Fitday program, which is a great little tool, it really is, however....I just discovered a little hitch.  Every morning when I log the food from the previous night's supper, I check the "stats"--it's important to get plenty of fat, not so much protein, and a certain number of daily carbs should come from veggies.  I noticed a couple of days ago that the numbers seem high (too high) for the fat category and the protein, so I took a closer look at the details of each food.  It looks to me as if Fitday makes certain assumptions with foods such as broccoli and cauliflower, and even raw chicken eggs.  Because when I compared the nutritional numbers with those foods on this site, which is the one I've used for years, Fitday numbers are off.  For instance, I know darn good and well that there is NO natural fat in broccoli or cauliflower.  The good thing about Fitday is the ability to create your own "custom" food, where you can plug in your own values, and that's what I've done now.  I'm not going to go back and correct all of my previous entries; too much work, in my opinion.

6/01/2017

Weight
155.5 today
After some soul searching, a revelatory epiphany, and a volley of emails with my mentor Adele, I have accomplished a rather major change in my diet.  I have, drum roll please, stopped eating bacon.  I'll allow you a moment to let it sink in, friends.  My weight loss momentum had stalled and I was ready to do something about it.

You have to realize, I have been eating bacon and eggs every single morning for breakfast since 2005.  I had convinced myself that my body didn't have a problem with bacon...and I never considered bacon a "processed" meat, which (clearly) my body has a problem with.  So last Friday I said goodbye to bacon and started eating broccoli with my morning eggs.  I was afraid I would get hungry; I did not.  I was afraid I would run out of energy; I did not.  If anything, I felt lighter!

I also upped my vegetable intake and eased back on the protein.  It's important, too, to make sure you're getting plenty of fat in your diet.  With these changes, sure enough, the weight has started dropping again.

Other
I am an anglophile; I love all things related to Great Britain.  So when I read an article this week about the queen's nail polish, I had to give it a whirl.  (She's been wearing the same brand/shade since 1989!)  I don't wear nail varnish all the time anymore.  It's not often I have enough downtime to sit still for that amount of time.  And when I do give them a polish, I use Sally Hansen's Xtreme Wear line.  I discovered a few years back that it is THE best varnish around...wonderful colors, dries fast, long lasting, and a steal at around $2.50 a bottle.  But I thought I'd give the queen's brand a go (Essie) because, well, she is the queen and she ought to know.

So yesterday off I went to my local Target store, found the brand/shade (same as the queen's, thank you), and actually had time to paint up my nails when I got home.  I'll cut to the chase and admit my extreme disappointment.  I always do 4 coats of varnish; 1 base coat, 2 coats of color, and 1 top coat.  And yes, I realize that "ballet slippers" is a sheer shade...but at $9.71 it should not appear streaky and cheap.  So this morning I returned that stuff and, with my refund, promptly chose two bottles of the Xtreme Wear (fuchsia power and pep-lum**), and still had money left over.  Still I'm glad I experimented a little because, hey, you never know until you try.

**I already have a bottle of the mah-velous shade "black out" at home.  Black really does go with everything.

5/23/2017

157.5 today
Had a conversation (via email) with my friend and mentor Adele yesterday.  She reminded me how important low carb veggies are to our Lead With the Diet lifestyle.  Even though I had only gone zero carb for about a week, as a sort of system reboot, so to speak, I needed the veggie reminder.  I had forgotten about the veggie rule...  I have not been getting at least 11 grams of daily carbs from (low carb) veggies.  I don't know why that's so hard for me to remember, however this is why it's a good idea to reread Adele's essays.  So for a while, I'm returning to tracking my food in my log at Fitday.

5/17/2017

Well, I found another food item that I cannot eat:  Oscar Mayer Smokies (Smoked Sausages).  The ingredient list runs as follows--

Ingredients: Ingredients: Pork, Water, Beef, Contains Less Than 2% of Corn Syrup, Salt, (1)Potassium Lactate, Ground Mustard Seed, Sodium Phosphates, Mustard Flour,Monosodium Glutamate, Sodium Diacetate, Sodium Ascorbate, Sodium Nitrite, Flavor, Soy Lecithin. Contains Soy

Every time I eat these tasty things I gain weight...every damn time.  I don't know if it's the "less than 2% corn syrup" or the soy, or what, and the why doesn't even matter.  The bottom line is weight gain and my body cannot handle them.  So no mas for me.  I didn't even know what some of those ingredients were (I'm just now looking them up).  So in the future, I should not eat anything containing unknown-to-me ingredients.  




(1) Potassium lactate is a compound with formula KC₃H₅O₃, or H3C-CHOH-COOK. It is the potassium salt of lactic acid. It is produced by neutralizing lactic acid which is fermented from a sugar source.

05/12/2017

Weight 156 today.
I had a dalliance with peanut butter a few weeks ago that momentarily derailed me; got back up to 158 pounds.  I must have lost my damn mind if I thought I could handle peanut butter...the devil's spread is what it is!!  LoL  Thankfully, I realized in time that I can IN NO WAY eat even just a little peanut butter, and so I threw away half a jar.  Nana ain't havin' none of it, nosireebob.  Also, I'm going zero carb, at least for a while.  I do this every now and then, eat only meat.  My body does very well on zero carb.

Other
I got a haircut today, a short, short haircut and I absolutely love it!  All of a sudden, I just couldn't stand my hair anymore.  It's as if it reaches a certain length  nowadays and then (I think) it doesn't look good...as if longish hair doesn't suit me anymore.  And maybe it doesn't.  Maybe I'm not *that* person anymore, just like I'm not the person who weighs 200 pounds anymore.  Hmm...

4/19/2017

157.5 today

Monday the 17th was my one year anniversary of Leading With the Diet.  One whole year...365 days...I have never in my life stuck with a "diet" that long, never.  --And I have no intention of stopping!

I still deal with leftover emotional issues of being fat for so long.  (Yes, I used the eff word.)  For instance, I locked up in the shorts section of Wally World the other day, having an internal conversation about which size I needed.  Went something like this:

"You wear a size 14."
But the 14's look so SMALL.  Better buy a size 16.
"You wear a size 14!  Remember, the pants you bought last December are a size 14 and you have plenty of room."
Did I mention the 14's look small?  You CANNOT be THAT small!!
"You are NOT a size 16 anymore!  This is ridiculous--just get the 14's, for crying out loud!!"

It was insane; I mean it.  I stood there so long I was afraid a sales associate was going to think I had intentions of shop lifting!!  I had to force myself to pick up a pair of size 14 shorts and walk away, and even minutes later I was still debating whether they were going to fit.  *sigh*

Anyway, aside from those momentary flashes of crazy, life is otherwise good.

4/5/2017

Weight has been between 156-157 for a while now.  I'm at a point where my old extra-large clothing looks bad on me--as in, makes me look as if I'm ill.  LoL  So I'm purging my closet; so far I'm down one pair of slacks and several skirts (and one belt).  The skirts hurt the most, because I had collected several over time and now I have to basically start over.  (P.s. I hate shopping.)  There is only one skirt left in my wardrobe that fits me properly, and I bought that one just last fall.  On a happier note though, I can now fit into a dress that I haven't been able to squeeze into for at least a decade.  I can't tell you why I held onto this dress for so long...other than it's really pretty and I love the colors...and I suppose I always held out hope that some day I would be able to wear it again.  --And that day has finally arrived.  I'm starting to ask myself whether I would be okay (emotionally, etc.) if my weight loss stopped here in the mid-150s.  Admittedly 156 is not my initial weight loss goal (it's 150)...but it's so close (to 150) and I feel really terrific right now.  I feel skinny, and happy, and...content.  And I think that last one might be the most important feeling of all:  content.  So yes, I would be okay if I never lost another pound (but I don't think I'm finished yet).  In 12 days I will hit my one year anniversary of Leading With the Diet, and I fully intend to live out the rest of my life eating clean.

3/24/2017

156 today
The almost-constantly changing weather has my allergies and sinuses flaring (along with 99% of the area residents).  Almost everyone in the tri-state area is hacking, coughing, and sneezing.  I was trying to hold my own, but the coughing got to me.  So I broke down on Wednesday and resorted to using some Ricola logenzes that I had stashed at work (from a year ago).  I really hated doing it, simple reason being they contain artificial sweetener, but it was that or die coughing.  I was concerned about the AS causing some cravings, yet that hasn't happened.  It's not like I'm popping a logenze every 5 minutes, so I guess the amount of AS is small enough not to disturb me.  I think the moral of the story is to take the medicine if you really, really need it, and worry about the fallout later.

3/16/2017

Weight Loss
156/156 1/2 today.  Honestly, there's not much to report, so that's why I only post about once a month anymore--which is probably a good thing, if you think about it.  Our weather has decided to remind us that, technically, it is STILL winter, with temperatures dropping from the 60's to the 30's.  We even got some snow flurries this week, although no accumulation (thankfully).  Anyway, when we start experiencing spring temperatures again (i.e. warmer) then I plan on resuming my daily walks.

Other
I'm growing out my hair again.  I just decided yesterday to do so.  Numerous reasons...I like the shorter style, really I do.  But it takes a lot of maintenance; trims every 4-6 weeks, money for the trims, mousse, blow-drying, washing more often, etc.  Plus you know I'm a long-hair woman at heart--probably always will be.  So yeah, I'm giving it another go.  :-)

The granddaughter is being assessed for kindergarten today, starting this fall.  Kindergarten, for crying out loud...when did that happen??  I am not ready for her to be this old, and I know it's even worse for her mama.  She's attended a day school since she was a baby, and yet every time I think of her starting regular school, I get a knot in my stomach and feel like I'm going to throw up.  I'm not sure why; it's probably tied up somehow with my own mortality.

2/28/2017

157lbs today

I haven't posted anything in a month because, honestly, there wasn't anything exciting happening.  My weight stalled this month (February), hanging somewhere between 158 and 159 most days, with a 160 showing up a couple of times.  Then over the weekend I finally dropped to 157.  So how did I break the stall?  --What did I do?  Nothing.  I simply kept doing the work of eating healthy and leading with the diet.  I didn't panic, I did not switch things up, or try different foods.  Stay the course, children, and it will work.

1/25/2017

158.5 today

According to the BMI chart, I am officially considered "normal weight".  To say I am elated would be an understatement.  To deny being a little scared would be a lie.  I've been overweight, obese, for so long that of course I'm thrilled.  I feel so healthy...like a new person.  And yet I have to admit of being scared of sliding back into old (bad) eating habits, of letting my guard down.  I remain ever vigilant of errant thoughts, even though I haven't experienced any thought of cheating since I started Leading With the Diet.  I remind myself that I am in control of my eating, I and I alone.  Rereading Adele's essays is also helpful when I feel a bit paranoid about this journey.  

1/10/2017

Today was a perfect example of Lead With the Diet principles...

My department enjoyed our "after the holidays" luncheon today at a local BBQ restaurant.  I was happy about this because I know from experience that their pulled pork is served naked (sans sauce).  The buffet held said pork, along with ribs (also naked), potato salad, baked beans, berry cobbler, brownies, and ice cream.  I filled my plate with pulled pork--must have eaten at least a pound of the stuff, maybe two!  However...I had also planned ahead.  I brought "good" food to work with me today, just in case the BBQ place failed me.  Always plan ahead!

01/04/2017

160.5 today

Hello and a happy new year to you!  I had a nice break from work, but was ready to get back to a routine.

Now, I want to share some images with you.  This was me, taken in July of 2015 (in the lovely ladies' room where I work).  In January of 2015 I weighed 198 lbs and I doubt I had lost any weight by July.

This is me today, a year and a half later.

I bought 3 pair of Lee brand Chinos, size (drum roll, please) 14, down from a size 18.  So much has happened during this 8 month weight loss period--and I'm nowhere near done yet.  I feel better, and I look better.  You'll notice that my shirt is tucked in; I would never have done that a year ago.  I also bought some new bras.  I had to try them on in the store (something I hate doing) since I wasn't sure what size I was down to.  I reckoned I was either a 38 or 40 band, and a C cup and, sure enough, I'm a 40C--down from a 42D.  I'll tell you what, wearing proper size clothing makes a huge difference (not just in bras).  I'm still wearing my size 18 khaki pants for a while because there's nothing wrong with them (as in no stains, no holes, etc.), and most of my shirts are now too big.  But again, there's nothing wrong with them except the size.  I did buy a couple of new shirts over the holiday break, one of which is the magenta v-neck in the photo above.

I am enjoying the concept of buying/wearing smaller clothing, however I would be lying if I said that it wasn't messing with my head.  It's been about 10 years since I was at this weight.  I was plus size for so many years; that's who I was.  It was interesting walking past the plus-size sections of the store and thinking, "Walk on by, babe; that's not you anymore."  It's important for me to stay out of my head during this transition as much as possible, otherwise I get a little freaked out.