Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Weighty Matters 05/10-20/2016

05/10/2016
185.5 this morning

Yes, I'm going to continue the no-butter phase for at least another week.  I think I
originally said 30 days, but I'm pretty sure I'll know results after this week.  I doubt
that one tablespoon of butter a day (used to scramble 6 eggs, split btwn Hubby & me)
makes much difference.  Still it's good to find out...and it's good to know that I don't
feel the NEED to use butter.  

05/13/2016
186 this morning

All right, the butter ban is ended, as of today.  
No changes in sinus issues whatsoever.  *shrug*
I tried.  And I'm glad I did; it was worth it.
I went two weeks without using butter.  The first
week I used bacon grease for the morning eggs;
the second week I used extra light olive oil.  The
only change I saw was no weight loss in week two.
Coincidence between no weight loss and olive oil?
Hmm...who knows.
This morning my weight was 186 and, I must admit,
I experienced a momentary flash of pissed-offedeness.    
Just for a second, and then I got my emotions back under
control.  And when I wrote the number down in the
pocket calendar I use to record my daily weight, I 
noticed that the same thing happened last week
(where I had no pounds lost in a three day span).  
This is another reason why it's important to weigh daily
AND write that number down.  Because I had forgotten
about the no-pounds-lost in a 3 day span of last week.  
Seeing that pattern made it okay; as in, it's happened before
and it'll probably happen again.  I'm still a pound lighter this
week than last week.  I didn't gain all of my weight overnight
and I certainly won't lose it overnight.  It's going to take
time, a LOT of time, and I am in this for...well, forever really.
I started to write "for as long as it takes", which is essentially forever.
I have come to realize...no, not realize.  I have admitted and 
acknowledged to myself that I cannot eat certain foods 
and expect my body to thrive.  

On a positive note, I am at the point where I need to wear
a belt with my khaki pants, otherwise I am constantly
hitchin' up my britches on my daily walks.   

05/16/2016

185.5 this morning

I've been leading with the diet for one month, and I feel so much better
now than 30 days ago.

It hasn't always been easy, although with implementation of the 4Ps life gets
more simple (planning, preparation, patience, and practice).  
Wait...it's not easy, yet it's simple--what does that mean??

Well, it IS simple...you plan your meals ahead of time, and you cook ahead
of time what needs to be cooked, along with chopping and dicing, and even
packaging it up so you can just grab and go.  You know exactly what you're
going to eat and when you're going to it, and you rarely (if ever) deviate from
that plan.  Then you have to practice patience; the weight coming off is a waiting
game of sorts, and it will happen...but you have to have patience when, say, 
you're only losing half a pound every week or two.  

But no, it is NOT easy.  You cannot rely on anybody else but yourself.  
Don't expect anyone else to support this way of life.
Don't expect not to be tempted by smells or sights of certain foods because, oh baby,
those temptations are ALWAYS hovering just below the surface.  It's not willpower
that will carry you through but sheer stubbornness and determination to turn away/
walk away from the things you need to.  Don't expect not to get mad and depressed
at your own body for not being able to handle all the junk foods that everybody
else on the planet seems to be able to shove in their mouths and not gain an ounce.

05/18/2016
184.5 this morning

Wow...I think my husband understands what I'm doing with the eating plan* I've implemented.  
Tomorrow I'm tagging along with him to a trade show of sorts, that is being held in a city a couple
of hours away...well, an hour and a half at least.  Anyway, food will be provided/catered but you 
know how that goes; I expect a lot of carbohydrate-laden foods.  I already had a plan in place,
although I was going to wait until tomorrow to bring up the subject.  To my surprise, he
said to me this morning, "I'm not sure what you're going to do about food tomorrow."  I told
him I was planning on taking my own food, just in case, and he thinks it's a good idea.  Now
I have to admit that I was expecting some push back from him, some level of...I don't know.  
Embarrassment maybe?  But no, he seemed genuinely concerned for my situation.  It was 
touching.   Since I don't know if there will be a microwave available, I'm going to take along
some baked chicken thighs and a large salad.  That should suffice until supper.  


*I refuse to use the word "diet"--I don't like that word.

05/20/2016
184 this morning

The trade show situation went extremely well yesterday.  I packed my salad and chicken (already cut up) the night before, so all I had to do the morning of was grab the container, and make sure I had a fork and olive oil.  The purse I carry is big enough that everything fit inside nicely.  I was very glad I brought my own food, because there was nothing at the banquet I could have eaten.  (Trigger warning*, menu below.)  When the time came, I simply pulled out my container and had at it.  Another locksmith who sat at our table, said, "You're smart; you brought your own food!!"  I enjoy being at a place in my life where I'm not bothered or embarrassed to bring my own food.  It's a fact of life...no different really than doing it because of food allergies.  

The fourth notch...
I think I mentioned having to wear a belt with my khaki pants (which is a good sign, truly it is.)  The weird thing is that I am now using the fourth notch on the belt.  I have had this belt for...oh, I don't know.  Probably at least 5 years.  At my heaviest weight (198 last January), I was using the second notch, and it was getting uncomfortable--thought I would have to drop down to the 1st notch.  Now here I am, all the way over on notch #4.  The first time I put on the belt with the khakis this week, I slid the prong into notch #3, but it was way too loose.  Yet when I put the prong into notch #4, my mind said "that can't be right, you're bigger than this...aren't you?"  Isn't it funny how our minds can sometimes work against us?  --Which is why I try to stay out of my head as much as possible where these things are concerned.  It's really just a number, all of this--clothing sizes, belt sizes, etc.  Don't attach too much value to the number; buy what fits you.  

Adele's Response:
I love reading your updates. It sounds like you're acknowledging your past patterns, and working hard to engineer your own success. You're doing everything right, it's working. The biggest battle for the next few years will be mastering control of your inner teenager. If you can do that without interruption for a long time, you will SLOWLY divorce your emotions from your food decisions. I can't remember the names of the pertinent essays on that, Growing Up Emotionally and the one about computer hard drives come to mind. I'm on my tablet right now and can't look them up. Mostly though you just lead with the diet, and let your feelings go wherever they want. Stay prepared, stay at least one day ahead. If you build it--a strong simple plan with no deviations--they will come. "They" are all the emotions you've been eating down. If you stop eating them down, you'll slowly build new skills for experiencing feelings. 

I'm getting ahead of myself! Just keep going and keep me/us posted. I'm so happy for you. You did great with taking your own food to an event and being ready to deal with the consequences. 

Adele
138 this morning


Weighty Matters 05/05-09/2016

186.5 this morning

Something I've noticed with clean eating is that food tastes so much better.  
I've gone back to using olive oil on my salads.  Maybe I was simply using too
much of it before, because the taste of olive oil is once more appealing to me.
I'm still going to try the brand you mentioned, Adele.  
I'm using bacon grease to scramble my morning eggs with, and it's working great.
Striving for two 15-minute walks a day; but at the very least one if I can't get in
both walks.  Still no temptations or cravings.  

I eat pretty much the same items every day, weekday or weekend, no matter what.
I haven't even been logging my food into Fitday because it's always the same.  
(Maybe I should still do it; I don't know...)
Breakfast is 3-4 strips of bacon and 3 eggs.
Lunch is a protein (baked chicken thighs, burger patties, etc.),
a salad (IB lettuce, celery, sweet peppers, and OO dressing),
and a low carb veggie (green beans, cauliflower, or broc.).
Supper is a protein--depending on how hungry (or not) I am, then I'll add some LC veg.

It's a beautiful sunny day here in Southeast Missouri, although a bit chilly.   8-) 
...About time for my morning walk!

Adele's Response:
Still no temptations or cravings.
Make no mistake, temptations and cravings (along with frustration and every other possible human emotion) WILL come. I am not free of either, they slowly became much less frequent and (I think?) because I decided that waggling was off the table for me as a choice. I feel pretty certain that I VERY SLOWLY learned to unhook all my food (and other) feelings and yearnings from my food actions. I don't mean to make it sound like it was easy at all--or even what I set out to do! But a repetitive diet, in that way, over time turned out to have kind of a "calming" effect. A kind of simpler, physical/emotional tethering as one long-ago list participant put it. 


I eat pretty much the same items every day, weekday or weekend, no matter what. I haven't even been logging my food into Fitday because it's always the same. (Maybe I should still do it; I don't know...)
I think as long as it's working well, there's no need to plot it out each day although it might help to have it down "on paper" and calculated out (the calories, fats, protein and carb counts and percentages that is...)because if you hit a long plateau you will have it for a reference point for comparing to see if you've drifted, or if perhaps you want to gently tweak it (for instance, increase fat percentage while decreasing protein) to see if it changes anything. Your diet sounds somewhat similar to how I eat virtually every day, except I generally don't eat bacon unless we're at a restaurant for breakfast on a trip. (I'm NOT suggesting you stop eating it--clearly your body is responding well.)

I'm enjoying watching things go so well for you, Trisha!

Adele
(139 this morning)

186 this morning
How I gained half a pound and did not lose my mind


Friday morning the weight was at 186 1/2.  
I did not eat enough for lunch that day.  Part of my
chicken was under cooked, and the amount of veggies
I had brought were not enough to make up the difference.
I knew I had not eaten enough, because by supper time I
had no energy whatsoever.  Hubby and I went to our
favorite little restaurant, where I ordered a pork chop, 
broccoli, and green beans.  
Saturday morning the weight jumped up half a pound to
187, and I knew immediately it was the green beans.  
They had a lot of onions mixed in, and also tasted like 
sugar had been added.  But I was so hungry, etc. etc.

I think this was the first time in my life that I have 
registered a weight gain on the scales and NOT had an
emotional breakdown.  I noted the half pound change,
knew what had caused it, and simply went on with my day.
I did not plunge into the depths of despair.  I did not immerse
myself in "bad" foods (because what's the use).  
I know that leading with the diet works, because I have the
numbers to prove it.  And sure enough, Sunday when I stepped
on the scale, I was down to 186 pounds.  

Yesterday Hubby grilled pork steaks for Mother's Day.  I asked
him to leave two steaks naked and he gladly obliged.  I ate one 
for lunch, along with green beans and cauliflower.  He and his mother,
and my daughter ate the pork steaks slathered in BBQ sauce.  
Now I will admit that the smell of the BBQ sauce was almost
overwhelming.  But I was able to keep myself detached, and 
just appreciate the smell of it without stuffing any of it in my mouth.

This is what eating clean does...if I eat clean foods consistently
then I reap a multitude of benefits, not the least of which is
slow and steady weight loss.  

P.s. I bought a bottle of the Filippo Berio olive oil, and love it!
P.p.s. I've noticed that my general walking pace has quickened.
P.p.p.s. I've finished one week of no-butter, with no change in sinus issues.  

Adele's Response:
1. It will take some major time for sinus issues to clear--a minimum of two weeks. Probably longer. It's your body, your science project, but I'd urge you to keep going. Personally I find it heavenly to NOT have them any more. Butter also contributes (at least in my opinion) to turning some boring foods into swoon foods. Keep calm and carry on, as they say! 

2. Every Single Time I eat out, I go up at least a pound, often 2-3. It comes off in a few more days. It is the cost of eating out. When you're in the weight loss phase especially, it can definitely be demoralizing. I'd urge you to avoid it as much as possible. This is where staying ahead and prepared helps immeasurably.

3. Glad to hear you like the olive oil. I find it virtually tasteless. 

Adele
(136 this morning)

Weighty Matters 05/02-03/2016

May 2, 2016
188 this morning
Two weeks "clean".   
No sugar, no dairy*, and no grains.  
I feel great.  I feel happy and strong and powerful.
But I also continue to remind myself that "there but for the grace of clean eating go I".  
I never want to forget that I am one bite (slip) away from falling into a ravine yet again.
And I don't like it in the ravine.  It's dark and hopeless down there.  
I like being on top of the hill where I can see the sun shine and smell the flowers.

I have found that I really don't like the taste of olive oil; it's too heavy for me.
So I've begun using plain ol' vegetable oil on my salads.  Oil, salt & pepper are the
only things I need.  I've taken to carrying a small squeeze bottle of oil with me, 
when I know The Husband and I are going out for a meal.  


* The only dairy I consume is 1 tablespoon used for scrambling morning eggs.  
Doesn't seem to affect me.  But one day (soon) I should probably drop it, at 
least for a while, just to see if I notice a change.  

Adele's Response:
Just a couple of pointers/ideas...

1. Scrambled eggs really are fine without anything added, I promise. I actually prefer them that way! Or try 1 tablespoon of water. If you are highly reactive to dairy, that much can make a difference. 

2. I use Filippo Berio Light Olive Oil, because I too really dislike the strong taste of regular or extra virgin olive oil. I like the taste (almost no taste!) of the Berio very much. The advantage of olive oil over regular vegetable oil is that it contains Omega 3's, which are good. Most vegetable oils are full of Omega 6's, which are "bad". Here's more info on that: The Ugly Truth About Vegetable Oils

Adele
140 this morning

May 3, 2016
187.5 this morning


Well, I cook the eggs in cast iron, so I'm not sure using only water would work.  
(The rule with cast iron is hot skillet/cool oil (or butter or something)) for non-stick cooking.
But I'm certainly willing to give it a try!  I'll try the water tomorrow morning.

Thanks for the link explaining vegetable oil.  I didn't know any of that, yeesh.  
I was using the Bertolli brand of (extra light) olive oil, but maybe the Filippo brand is better.  
Again, I'm willing to try it.
Luckily I have some of the Bertolli at work, so I can ditch the veg. oil starting today.  

Adele's Response:
Oh...I thought you were *adding cream to your eggs before putting them in the skillet. ;)

I have 3 cast iron skillets and use them almost exclusively. I use either rendered pork fat or the Berio olive oil for cooking my eggs. 

I didn't realize those facts about vegetable oils for a long time myself. Because of my dislike of olive oil, along with it's higher cost, I used cold pressed sunflower oil for several years assuming it would be a healthy choice. I was wrong! I switched back to the olive oil about a year ago.

Adele
138 this morning

My Response:
For what it's worth, even a tiny amount of butter produces some unpleasant dairy symptoms in me, not sure how universal that might be. I'm honestly not sure it affects my weight because once I figured out the diet I had to follow to lose weight and came to accept it by staying with it for a very long time, I've never toyed with it long enough to test that. For me it causes sinus clogging and post nasal drip within a couple of hours, which makes me feel like I constantly have to clear my throat, and those symptoms will last for at least several days. After years of living without sinus issues, it was a no brainer to not have to deal with that for so little "sacrifice." 

It's your call, of course, but if I were you, I'd want to see what happens with none, then try adding it after a month or longer. 

A month without butter...the thought of that is a little scary.  Which probably means I need to do it.  
What if that tablespoon of butter is the only thing left causing my sinus issues?  Wow, it would be
wonderful to stop needing antihistamine tablets and nasal spray.  Okay, I'm in; I'm going to quit
butter.  I can do this.  I can find a different way to cook the eggs.  Now I'm excited!  

Weighty Matters 04/26-29/2016

Adele:
I re-read Jill's thread and what I saw over a very long time was the simple fact that she didn't stay on the diet. She kept slipping stuff back in, despite it working beautifully when she ate clean. She couldn't seem to stay consistent with clean eating, not even to GET to goal, which is a time of higher motivation and bigger rewards for "good behavior." 

(Sadly, Sally's journey serves as a cautionary tale for MUCH later in the process.)

It is my opinion, based on my experience, that we have to come to terms with staying on the clean diet. If you can't do that, you can't expect long-term results. It's not easy to come to terms with, and it takes years, not weeks. Over time, a clean diet will bring you to your knees in all sorts of ways. Jill stayed off her knees--usually with cream cheese. Did you see that?

You are totally right in your words right now: One thing I've learned from reading the journals, and from personal experience, is to not allow anything to rule my eating plan--not emotional turmoil, not physical tiredness, nothing. Plan the food ahead of time, stick to the plan no matter what, and then I'll be able to ride out whatever happens. I said that was one thing I've learned, but maybe that's the most important thing.

Hold the diet clean and steady, always be prepared, just stay 1-2 steps ahead, and then let life happen. That's what leading with the diet is. It will be awkward and personally infuriating at times.  You will probably find that you "needed" food for things other than hunger. Then you get the opportunity to figure out what else you can do besides eat (creamy, dreamy swoon foods) when you are feeling ANYTHING. 

Assuming you stay the course, your weight WILL normalize, and you will come out on the other side able to handle everything in your life, including your emotions, in different ways.

Stay in touch!

Adele
139 this morning

April 28, 2016
189 this morning

The weather here is gorgeous right now; spring has sprung!  And so when I can (when work allows), I have been taking two 15-minute walks a day.  To get outside and breathe in some fresh air, listen to the bird song, and see everything engulfed in greenery is a simple way to refresh my soul (and get a little exercise).  

A friend and former co-worker dropped off a homemade strawberry pie yesterday afternoon at the office for everyone to enjoy.  Aesthetically, it was pretty-looking, and yet I wasn't the least bit tempted to indulge.  This is the honeymoon period of low carbing for me, the first 2-3 weeks when I'm the strongest.  Staying strong in the long run is what I will be working on in the coming weeks.  

Cooked up a whole tray of boneless, skinless chicken thighs last night.  Have lettuce already chopped, have frozen veggies ready to go.  Practicing the 4Ps.  

Adele's Response:
Staying strong in the long run is what I will be working on in the coming weeks.


Yes. And remember, you don't have to FEEL strong in order to BEHAVE strong. It could be one of the first times you (generic you) separate the two. In a nutshell this is about divorcing our actions from whatever we happen to be feeling in any particular moment.

I've been told many a time: "I could never be as strong as you" when sugary treat-foods are offered and someone notices that I decline. If I reply (which I rarely do because talking about this with others is almost never helpful or productive to either of us--even here, lol) I will say "oh no--I am not strong, I am weak! And once I start eating things like that, I am even weaker. That's why I don't start."

By then, they're usually too busy chowing down on the confection to come up with much of a response. 

Keep going, Trisha. 

Adele
(138 this morning)


April 29, 2019
189 this morning


I believe I've finally made peace with the bathroom scale. 
I have been weighing every morning, and have gotten to a place of...what's the word...neutrality?  No, objectiveness, that's it.

"Objective, adjective, 5. not influenced by personal feelings, interpretations, or prejudice; based on facts; unbiased:an objective opinion."  from www.dictionary.com

Adele, you and your friend (Patricia) are right; the bathroom scale is simply a tool, no more, no less.  
It does not sit in judgement of us, nor does it hand out rewards.  It just exists.  
--Did the number on the scale go up?
Then I need to review all of the food I've ingested over the last couple of days.  
Did the number on the scale go down or stay the same?
Then I'm doing it right.  

Feeling quite zen at the moment.  

Weighty Matters 04/21-25, 2016

April 21, 2016

192 this morning

Just returned from a 15 minute walk.

Yes ma'am, I have read Jill's thread. Actually I've read all of the threads here. :-) 

In reading each journal, at some point, I would find myself shaking my head, thinking, "You idiot, why are you doing/not doing that? Can't you see you're doing X and Y because of Z? Don't you know how this is going to end (back on the carb highway again)??" Only to realize moments later that I, at some point, had done EXACTLY the same thing. 

It's so easy to recognize in others, yet I'm blind to my own shortcomings.

No nuts or cheese today, and no snacks between meals.  
For lunch I'll have a packet of tuna in oil, some green beans, and a salad.  
And another 15 minute walk this afternoon.  

April 22, 2016
192 this morning


I'm re-reading "A Better Approach", and have done this step, "The first step is to obtain your body’s daily caloric requirement or basal metabolic rate (BMR) here."  Although I'm assuming the weight we plug into the formula app is our current number and NOT our goal weight.  
Is that right, Adele?  Anyway, that's the number I used (192), which gives me a BMR of 1504 calories, plus the 2-250 additional.  
So 1500-1700 calories a day, give or take.  
I am doing without any dairy now.
No "special category" foods.
No processed meat.
No grain products, low carb or otherwise.
No fruit, or alcohol.  No nuts/seeds.
No artificial sweeteners.

So it's basically protein (75+grams daily), and low carb veggies, of which I need to eat around 30 net carbs daily.
I am woefully below that 30 net grams mark, and will start working on it tonight.  
Starting today it's olive oil for the salad instead of low carb dressings.  

Physically, I am feeling better...less bloat and more energy.  
Speaking of which, it's time for a walk.   8-)

Adele's Response:
So Tricia, what do you feel you can learn from reading Jill's ultra-typical up-and-down journey--or any other journey thread here. How will your journey be different? 

(Do you realize that Jill never saw my final post in that thread? She never returned to the site after posting her final entry.) 

Adele
139 this morning


April 25, 2016
190.5 this morning


One thing I've learned from reading the journals, and from personal experience, is to not allow anything to rule my eating plan--not emotional turmoil, not physical tiredness, nothing.  Plan the food ahead of time, stick to the plan no matter what, and then I'll be able to ride out whatever happens.  I said that was one thing I've learned, but maybe that's the most important thing.  Yes, I saw that Jill has not checked back in...wow, it's been 3 years.  I wonder how she's doing?  

The Husband and I have developed a new habit, where we go out for breakfast on Saturday mornings.  (Otherwise, I cook bacon and eggs every day.)  There's a nice family style restaurant in a neighboring town we patronize.  So we get to the restaurant this past Saturday, and as he's looking over the menu, he says, 
"What are you going to get?" 
"Bacon and eggs."
"You're going to eat the same stuff here that you eat every day at home?"
"Yep!"  --And he shakes his head, like I'm an idiot, while ordering hash browns and an English muffin to go with his sausage and eggs.  That's okay, buddy, you just keep eating that crap.   :)   

I had a really good weekend...ate "clean" food, no cheats, no temptations, didn't get hungry.  One of the things I find amazing is that I don't need between meal snacks when I eat cleanly.  I just don't get hungry.  My mind clears, my sinuses clear, everything is better.  

One week behind me.  At this point I'm trying to stay out of my head, so to speak.  Not worrying about the "what ifs".  If I plan ahead and always have clean food available, then I shouldn't have to worry about the "what ifs".  

Weighty Matters 04/20/2016

04/20/2016
April 20, 2016:  Yesterday I did not eat the cake.

(I can't believe it's been 6 months since my last entry.)
I have not been leading with the diet.  
I have not been eating healthy.
My weight is up to 193.
I have been listening to the lies my inner child tells me.
You know the ones:  
You're too tired/scared/happy/hungry to eat healthy; just grab whatever.

Friday the 15th I decided that, once again, I'd had enough, and I started low carb again.  
You're right, Adele; zero carb is way too restrictive for me.  I keep trying it though (zero carb),
thinking "this time".  What's the definition of insanity?  Mm hmm.  
Low carb I can do.  
Low carb WORKS for me.
And it's so easy, with planning and prepping ahead of time.
No brainer stuff.  

A co-worker had a birthday party over the weekend and on Monday he brought a bunch of
leftover cake to the office.  That damn cake taunted me all day.  I thought hard about eating
a piece.  Just one piece, it won't hurt, you're not very far along in the diet, just one piece, C'MON!!!
That old chestnut.  
But I hung tight and refused to give in.  Anytime I thought about giving in, I distracted myself, and
it worked.  Tuesday some of that cake was still in the break room, and the temptation was still present.
Not as strong though.  And today there was no temptation at all when I walked into the break room 
and that last piece of cake was winking at me.  None whatsoever.  I'm so glad I stayed strong.
I love this feeling, this stage of strength.  Am I hungry enough to eat a serving of almonds or cashews?
No?  --Then it's a craving and not true hunger.  Take action and the craving will disappear.
Take a walk, write a letter, do something, anything.

Adele, I hope you're doing well.  Did the wrist heal all right?  
Trisha

Adele's Response:
And it's so easy, with planning and prepping ahead of time.
No brainer stuff. 


I disagree, Trisha. ;) 

It IS simple, but it is not any kind of easy. (If it was easy, you'd have had this issue taken care of years ago.) The rules are simple, especially the rules that will have the weight coming off as speedily as possible--adequate unprocessed meats, lots of good fats and lots of lowcarb vegetables. Following those rules 24/7/365 with NO breaks or exceptions takes a single-minded commitment. 

Have you read Jill's thread yet?

Adele
139 this morning